Live: August 23rd 2020
From: Outside Las Vegas, Nevada
The Night We Came Home
For the first time in half a decade the PWA begins it’s
broadcast on its American partner Starz and Canadian counterpart
the Super Channel. A lot has changed in the past five years not
just for the former stars of the PWA but for the world. It’s a
flagship event held normally in Las Vegas, Nevada however due to
the COVID-19 pandemic and the PWA’s seriousness effort for a
safe enviroment for talent and fans a like we open on a desert
setting where a PWA ring has been constructed surrounded by
solid grey guardrails and plexi-glass standing 6 feet off the
top of the guardrails. Off to the right of th entrance way is a
tractor trailer built complex of dressing rooms and 53' foot
trailers for production. The ADCTron sits above the entrance way
and lights up with the PWA High Stakes logo as “Sin City” by
AC/DC begins to play.
(Diamonds and dust, Poor man
last, Rich man first, Lamborghini's, caviar, Dry martini's,
Shots of Matt Stone facing off against Simon
Kalis play from their High Stakes Last Man Standing Match for
the PWA Intercontinental Championship.
(I got a
burnin' feelin', Deep inside of me, It's a yearning, But I'm
going to set it free)
Shots of Emperor Ian being awarded
the PWA Grizzly Beer title in his three way High Stakes Match
against PWA legends The Kumquat Kid as Cahmelion walks up the
(I'm goin' in, To sin city, I'm gonna
win, In sin city, Where the lights are bright, Do the town
tonight, I wanna win, In sin city)
More shots from the
previous High Stakes pay per views flash across the ADCtron as
pyros explode up out of the ring posts getting a pop from the
250 people crowd. The camera pans around showing the people
wearing masks some even in the style of their favourite PWA
stars. The camera stops among two very familiar men who are
lucky to have their jobs back. Who else would hire them?
Brian Rentfro: Welcome to High Stakes and the triumphant
return of the Pioneer Wrestling Association!!!!! I am Brian
Rentfro and as always What’s His Face McDaniel! How you been,
What’s His Face?
Jon McDaniel: I immediately regret
signing that contract. It’s Jon McDaniel: here and I can’t
believe we are back Brian!
Brian Rentfro: Me either! When
I got the call I was selling 10 dollar hand jo- - - -
Jon McDaniel: Brian! Anyways! Yes we are back and couldn’t be
happier!!!! of course management looks a bit different.
Brian Rentfro: yeah no Jew hating anti-semetics around!
Jon McDaniel:Nor Chamelion’s placing belts on themselves
No sooner are the words said “ How Could I Just
Kill A Man” by Rage Against The Machine begins to blare in the
desert setting outside the neon city that can be seen in the not
so far distance. The crowd gives a pop as Tamika Kalis and
Meghan Kelser, the Cowgirls From Hell, step out side by side on
PWA television for the first time in almost 7 years. They both
sport black PWA crop tops, in black wrestling tights, and old
school knee white boots with black laces as they stand on the
stage breathing it all in.
Brian Rentfro: Speak of the
devil here come our new bosses! Who the hell would’ve thought
our new overlords could be so damn sexy!
Both you and I witnessed their historic rise and fall here in
the PWA, Brian. If there is any two willing people to make this
work it is the Strader sisters!
Eric Emerson: Ladies and
gentlemen please welcome the Co-Owners of the PWA! They are
Tamika Kalis and Meghan Kelser.... the COWGIRLS FROM
The fans pop as the sisters raises
their fists in the air sporting their family inherited sneer.
Meghan and Tamika have reached the ring and Meghan sits down on
the middle rope and lifts the top rope for her little sister to
step through. Tamika takes two microphones from ring announcer
Eric Emerson and hands one off to her sister. Meghan is the
first to speak as the music dies down.
You know a few months back when Tamika first approached me about
buying a controlling interest in the company I asked if
Chamelion was involved and thankfully for all of us involved the
response was “no he isn’t” and those words have never sounded
Tamika Kalis: That’s right, under our banner and
our vision for the PWA we will allow for fair growth. We won’t
be declaring ourselves tag team champions or anything like that.
Or injecting ourselves in title matches.
In our fairness comes an expectation of showing and putting on
the best damn match you possibly can. Entertain the loyal fans
that helped champion this return to arms.
We promise to not only give the fans a safe place to enjoy their
favourite past time but a environment that allows for the talent
to be safe and do their job of entertaining the masses. We come
from a long proud line of wrestlers like our father, who we will
face off against tonight, and show why the PWA is back and
better than ever!
Meghan Kelser: Unfortunately tonight
the ceremony planned to honour Sirus Moran and The Phoenix have
been postponed to a future date that will announced in the near
future. So what we plan is to replay a few select matches.
Tamika Kalis: But first, we have a show to kick off and my
sister here really wants to get started!
It’s a moment I have waited for a long time. Let’s get this
party going. Come on old man, get your ass out here!
Cowboys From Hell versus
Cowgirls From Hell
Tag Team Standard Match
Time Limit: 30
“Cowboys From Hell” by Pantera
begins to play as the Strader girls stand in the ring waiting
for their father come out with his mystery partner. In the
distance you can hear the Screaming Eagle tail pipes of Harley
Davidson’s getting closer. The sisters turn around as do the
fans as three motorcycles come roaring around the crowd.
Jon McDaniel: That’s the Scott Nash Strader I remember.
Brian Rentfro: What obnoxious and trying to show how big his
Jon McDaniel: I thought you liked him?
Brian Rentfro: I’m fickle, What’s His Face.
McDaniel: Shit stain.
We can’t see one of Scott’s
companions because of their full face shield helmet and the
other is his red headed spit fire wife, Amy Lee Straten-Strader
but Scott being the ass he is rides around the back and up onto
the stage alone without the other two bikers. He calls from the
back for a microphone as the music stopes
SNS: I swore
that cluster fuck of a match the evil Jew hater booked was my
last PWA match but my lovely daughters feel the need to take me
down a notch. Girls, you paved your way. You made your names
your own, hell you have even dropped the Nash Strader. You own a
controlling interest in this legendary company yet that’s not
Meghan Kelser: Hold up, old man. Where the hell
is Hartman? Or is it Uncle Payton? Is Duff under the ring? Or is
it the coward wearing a full face shield helmet?
of the Strader family chuckles pointing at his daughter nodding
mouthing the words ‘good one”
SNS: My partner is slightly
delayed. You know, Covid-19 shit.
Scott fires his bike
up as the Pantera song starts up again, and rolls on down to the
ring. He kicks out his kickstand and enters the ring stepping
over the top rope. Strader extends his hand in respect and
Tamika responds favorably, and both shake each others hands to
the cheers of the crowd. Strader and Tamika back up from each
other and then both charge forward. Tamika grabs onto Strader by
his shoulders and leapfrogs over him grabbing onto the back of
his head and dropping him down with a reverse neckbreaker.
Strader is up immediately to her surprise and lands a
devastating superkick to the youngest kid sending her bouncing
off the canvas. Strader picks her up by the hair and whips her
into the corner. She stumbles forward and then hits a spinning
mule kick on an unsuspecting Scott Nash Strader. She gets behind
him and, using all her strength takes Strader down with a
Russian Leg Sweep.
Jon McDaniel:: Tamika is a tough girl,
Brian Rentfro: Also sexy.
Also our boss.
Out of nowhere she lands an asai
moonsault on Strader but Strader is quick to recover and he
jumps to his feet. Strader goes to clothesline Tamika, but she
ducks and kicks out his bionic knees from under him. She grabs
him by the hair and slams him to the canvas as she then tags in
her sister Meghan. Meghan hops into the ring and immediately
begins work dropping down with a guillotine leg drop on her old
man. Strader throws her off of him and gets to his feet and arm
drags her back to the canvas as he begins stomping down on her
chest. Behind the refs vision Meghan punches Strader in the
groin area causing him to stumble back as Strader complains to
no avail. Meghan goes for a DDT but Strader reverses quickly and
northern lights suplexes her to the canvas. Strader then jumps
onto the top turn buckle and jumps off with a big elbow which
Meghan avoids by rolling away.
Jon McDaniel:: Key
awareness by MNS.
Brian Rentfro: You mean Kelser, right?
Jon McDaniel:: Hey, we called them MNS and TNS for years,
this is new to me and you too, dick weed.
Both are back
up and Meghan back rakes her father who stumbles forward as
Meghan tags in Tamika. Strader doesn't even look back as he hits
a reverse thrust kick into Tamika's face sending her to the
canvas. He turns around and grabs her legs and places one foot
forward and begins applying a sharpshooter to his youngest
child. He locks the submission move in tightly and Tamika
doesn't have the strength to move herself towards the ropes as
he leans his 6'10 290 pounds into the submission.
Rentfro: I thought the old bastard might take it easy on his
Jon McDaniel:: Every father wants the respect
of their children even when they don’t deserve it. However
trying to break one of his kids back doesn’t work in making that
They get back up and the referee Scott Swindell
is distracted by the silent entrance by Meghan’s estranged
daughter, Victoria. Tamika taps her hand three times on the
canvas but no one sees it. Strader lets go of the hold as Meghan
goes to confront her daughter. Strader helps Tamika to her feet
and in response she grabs Strader by the throat as he smiles and
to the shock of everyone watching she gives him a kiss on the
cheek before head butting him square to the forehead. Meghan's
eyes show laughter but the quickly changes as Victoria has
suddenly entered as Scott’s partner! Victoria grabs a shocked
Meghan by the throat and tosses her over the top rope and jumps
outside to continue the fight. Tamika knees her dad in the gut
and then in the testicular region before hitting another Russian
leg sweep to take the old bastard down.
What was that all about?
Brian Rentfro: Word from the
back is Victoria is filling in for Scott’s missing Cowboy.
Jon McDaniel:: The bosses kid has sided with grandpa
Strader? Oh boy.
Strader holds his back as Meghan rushes
to the apron and gets tagged in by Tamika. Scott does the same
and gets tagged in by his granddaughter and both of them meet in
the middle of the ring now, legally. Mother and daughter.
Victoria hits a quick German Suplex on Meghan taking her down
and begins going to work by throwing a number of stiff rights
and lefts to her face. She knees her in the gut and then rakes
her eyes, pushing her off as she winces in pain not just
physically but emotionally as her daughter looks down on her
Brian Rentfro: Who needs the Kardashians when we
have this knuckle head family?
Jon McDaniel:: Well, at
least it’s never boring over there in StraderLand.
Rentfro: Is that like DisneyLand?
Jon McDaniel:: Kinda
but instead of rides and attractions it’s watching Payton
Strader drinking beer and Scott giving his kids daddy issues.
Meghan goes to get up by she is with punt kicked to the back
of her head leaving her mother laid out cold. Tamika tries to
rush in to stop a pin fall but is only greeted by a Superkick
from her niece as Victoria then tags her grandpa back in.
Brian Rentfro: he’s not going to...
Holy shit he is Brian... holy shit he is.
bastard signals for The Memory Remains as he picks up his own
flesh and blood and lays her out in th middle of the ring.
Victoria stops and looks down at her Aunt Tamika and grabs her
head and lifts it up for Tamika to open her eyes witnessing her
father pinning her big sister. The referee drops for the count
as the fans boo loudly from behind the safety of plexiglass.
Eric Emerson: And your
winners via pin fall.... THE COWBOYS??? FROM HELL!!!!!
Jon McDaniel:: What a family, Brian.
Brian Rentfro: And
look at that What’s His face! I think that younger one just cold
clocked our new boss!
Scott and Victoria exit the
ringside area as the Cowgirls begin stir in the ring. “Cowboys
From Hell” blasts over the outdoor speakers as the fans boos are
quite loud for a smaller intimate setting. The announcers sit
Jon McDaniel:: What I don’t get is why after all
these years, after so many years why would a father do that to
his own daughter? She just had twins with Thunderwolf just
before Christmas! Her oldest daughter, who we just saw betray
her, has sided with the Strader family Patriarch in SNS.
Brian Rentfro: The Queens of the PWA look mighty pissed off.
That they do as they get to their feet and begin their
descent to the backstage area hoping their old man is gone.
Home is Where The Virus Is
Here we go. The camera fades in to a
swanky, upscale trailer for one of the stars of High Stakes this
evening. We are privy to someone already in the trailer, a
somewhat familiar face. It is Alexia Engel, dressed in leggings,
a cute retro top, and her hair back in a ponytail. She is on her
phone, likely watching TikTok videos and scrolling through
Instagram. Then she proceeds to take a selfie and post it to
In walks Matthew “Virus” Engel who
is dressed in a Portugal. The Man t-shirt and Adidas shorts.
Yes, we expect Portugal. The Man to ask Matt to stop wearing
their shirts, but he will likely give zero fucks. Just before he
sits down in the trailer, Alexia perks up.
You look absolutely terrible.
Matt pauses for a moment
and then sits down. He looks down the aisle of the trailer to
see his ring attire hanging up off the back of a door, cleaned
and ready for him. He looks down at himself and then back at his
Matthew Engel: Trust me, I feel better than I
Alexia Engel: Thank Christ.
They both share
a laugh. Matt looks over at his ring attire again and then back
at the camera, knowing he is back in the limelight and on the
Alexia Engel: Did you see Scott’s thing?
Matthew Engel: Yeah, I heard him.
Alexia Engel: I
don’t think he mentioned you.
Matthew Engel: Well, Scott
has a great talent for saying a lot of words which don’t amount
Alexia Engel: Didn’t he almost kill you one
Matt looks over at his daughter and rolls his eyes
Matthew Engel: Who hasn’t tried to kill me at some
point? And yet, here I am.
Alexia Engel: Fair point. I
don’t think I have tried.
Matthew Engel: Not yet at
Alexia laughs and picks up her phone again to
check what’s going on with her recent selfie. We are sure it’s
blowing up just fine and giving the PWA the attention it needs
for this jumpstart of a shit show. Our villain of the moment,
Virus, is looking older these days. More gray, some more
wrinkles, but still tan and looking in great shape. The Bermuda
sun still agrees with him quite well.
You'd probably know this, does Anna still have a crush on me?
Alexia Engel: Are we in high school?
Forget I asked. I just miss her.
Alexia Engel: That's
sweet, in a creepy random kind of way.
Matt shrugs his
shoulders as Alexia continues to scroll through... just pick
whatever social media site you like, she's on all of them. But
Alexia perks up again with another question for Dad.
Alexia Engel: Where were you last weekend? I tried to get ahold
of you. I had some more ideas about me getting more involved
Matthew Engel: I was in Vermont to talk
to one of their senators. And yeah, we’ll go over more about
what you want to do in the next week or so.
Feeling the Bern?
Matthew Engel: Wrong Senator. He truly
can’t be bought. The other one, however, is amenable and I’m
being consulted to find his replacement.
Alexia puts her
phone down and looks confused.
Alexia Engel: But he’s a
Matthew Engel: His replacement won’t be.
Alexia’s eyes widened. But then she scoffed.
Engel: Fuck politics, honestly. But, I don’t know why you want
to put another QAnon moron in public office.
Engel: Because I like to make money as much as I like to win.
And you know I like to win.
Alexia Engel: Oh I’m well
aware, you only brag about Marjorie Green winning her primary
all the time now. Disgusting to be honest.
Like I said, I like to win.
Alexia picks her phone back
up, with body language essentially just ignoring what her dad
just said. Matt checks his phone and then puts it away, looking
up to the camera.
Matthew Engel: Well, should we get this
Alexia Engel: Any day now would be nice.
And don’t make fun of Izzie.
Matthew Engel: I-I wasn’t
planning on it. You know I’ve helped her out.
Engel: I know. I’m just protective.
Alexia grabs her bag
and steps out of the trailer to let her Dad do his thing. Matt
decides to stand up for this, walking over to his ring attire,
and then turning around for the camera.
Yeah it’s been a long time. Sure, maybe it’s been only a few
years since I’ve stepped in the ring, but much longer since I’ve
stepped in front of a camera to lay the truth down again. And
I’m sure Jamie and I at some point will have another match,
properly, where I break his arm and his spirit Rob Robinson
Matthew Engel: So tonight, we have High Stakes.
There was a time I was a winner at this event. I recall making
Jethro say “I Quit” and retaining the World Championship. What a
fucking match that was, to be honest. It’s gotta be top ten in
PWA history of greatest matches ever, I would imagine. Not that
I ever gave a damn about rankings. It’s a good segue because the
last time Hunter Sullivan was in a PWA ring was when he beat,
barely, Jethro Hayes. And maybe I’m wrong about that being the
last time he was in a PWA ring. I couldn’t care less, I was just
enjoying the coincidence.
Matt moves away from his dark
green tuxedo ring attire taking a moment to crack his neck and
focus a little more.
Matthew Engel: And let’s be real,
that’s probably the first time I’ve said Hunter’s name in years.
Of all the PWA veterans I imagine I would be facing at High
Stakes, Hunter just didn’t work into that. It’s nothing really
against him, I’m just completely indifferent towards him. He’s a
good wrestler, solid on the mic, but he’s never been on my
level. Never. There aren’t many that have been and certainly
only a few of them are in this event fighting tonight. Also, am
I the only one who thinks that Lisa Seldon and Matthew Engel
would have been a much, much better headliner to bring the PWA
back into relevance?
Matthew Engel: But I digress.
Hunter, it’ll be good to get in the ring with you tonight. We
can both shake off the rust and try not to get the ‘rona. I
don’t doubt you’re going to bring the best you’ve got and while
it won’t be enough to beat me, it’ll be enough to impress the
world and show us that you’ve earned this spot against me at a
PWA event. I don’t just come out of retirement for any reason.
It turns out I’ve got unfinished business, a deep resolve to
build on an already spectacular and legendary career. The kind
of DNA I have as a professional wrestler wouldn’t really allow
me to be completely content with what I have done and achieved,
and beating Hunter’s face into oblivion to start off my 2020
return to the ring is going to be the first chapter of that
Matt sits back down for a moment and
flips his Chris Evans/Captain America-style hair back, once more
looking directly into the camera.
Matthew Engel: You know
I got the call about the PWA’s return. I jumped on it, of
course. I’ve kept in shape, even increased my conditioning and
workouts knowing I’m coming back to the sport. But I know
there’s no way to truly be ready for this until I’m through
those ropes, that bell has rung, and Hunter Sullivan finds
himself on the proper end of the Euthanasia. I’m not gonna sit
here and bring up the past with you, Hunter, because we both
know the matches we have had don’t translate to what’s going to
happen tonight. Maybe it doesn’t sit well with you that you
aren’t on my level. I’d fucking hope so, because how else are
you going to find a way to will yourself to win? Don’t end up a
boot stain tonight. That’s all I ask.
Matt was about to
end it there, looking like he was going to stand up, but he lays
back in the lovely accent chair he was sitting in.
Matthew Engel: As always, I do not forgive.
I do not
Jon McDaniel:: Typical
Virus... sometimes it’s not good to see things haven’t changed!
Up next we have a flashback match from
High Stakes May 17th 2009!
Rentfro: Smart programming to have a Grizzly Beer flashback
precede a grizzly Beer drinking contest!
Gives our talented crew to set up at ringside!
Figgins vs Jonny Maverick
Grizzly Beer Contendership Match
"Hide your face forever Dream
and search forever"
A synthesized female voice hits the PA system as the intro of
the song begins to kick in. The lights of the venue dim and gain
a slight blue tint to them. Jacob Figgins pops out of the
entrance ramp, his arms extended outwards in a crux pose. A
decorative cane in his left hand.
Eric Emerson: “This
match is a Barbed wire match, and it is scheduled for one fall.
Introducing first, from Kansas City, Missouri. The “Next
Conspiracy. Jacob Figgins!!”
"Have you ever been for
When your isms get smart
Oh so selfish and mindless
With that comment in your eye"
Figgins steps down from
the stage and on to the ramp looking left and right to his
"Figgified Nation" and playing to the fan base a bit. Once he
finally makes it down the ring floor, his arms pop out in
another crux pose before he hops into the ring.
distorted guitar of 'Rise Above by Black Flag fills the arena as
a spotlight with the Anarchy symbol searches about the arena
before finally settling on the entranceway, Jonny Maverick steps
out raising the shocker up to the audience who boos him loudly.
"Jealous cowards try to control
Rise above, we're gonna
They distort what we say
Rise above, we're
gonna rise above
Try and stop what we do
Rise above, we're
gonna rise above
When they can't do it themselves
above, we're gonna rise above."
Jonny sprints down the
ramp to the ring, pumping his fist along to the music, the
spotlight following him as he runs.
Eric Emerson: “And
the opponent, from Washington D.C. Jonny Maverick!!!”
"We! Are tired! Of your! Abuse!
Try to stop us, it's no use!"
Jonny slides under the bottom rope and stands quickly, he
makes sure to hit each corner so everyone gets a clear view of
him giving him the finger.
"Society's arms of control
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
Think they're smart, can't
think for themselves
Rise above, we're gonna rise above
Laugh at us behind our backs
Rise above, we're gonna rise
I find satisfaction in what they lack
we're gonna rise above"
Jonny jumps down from the
turnbuckle, he smiles playfully as he dismisses the audiences
hail of boos with a wanking motion. He casually leans in the
corner, waiting for his opponent
Jacob sits in the
northeast corner of the ring, making sure to avoid the barbed
wire, while wringing his heavily taped hands together. The
presence of Danny Daemon did unsettle him quite a bit, but his
eyes remain fixed forward on his opponent, the very cocky Jonny
Maverick. Maverick looks down upon his opponent, he figures this
match is going to be a cake walk, thoughts of holding that
Grizzly Beer championship already invading his mind. Referee
Scott Swindell, wearing long sleeves and thick gloves to avoid
being cut, looks over both men before pointing to the time
keeper to start the match.
DING DING DING
ringing of the bell, both men promenade to the center of the
ring. In a very cocky fashion, Figgy extends his left hand for a
handshake, Maverick refuses by flashing Figgins a very crude
hand gesture, a middle finger to be exact. Figgins smirked and
took a step back before raising his hand for a test of strength.
Jonny accepts it and locks up in a knuckle lock with the Next
Conspiracy. Figgy is the one to initiate the test by pushing the
young upstart toward the barbed wire. Jonny manages to stop the
voyage with about only a foot away from the barbed wire to
spare. Jonny decided to push back, Figgy able to stop it just
before touching the wire. Finally, Figgins begins to push back
full force. Jonny stops the advance by placing his right foot on
the bottom wire. Seeing as Figgy had weight on his side, Jonny
throws off the hold. The two men stare down to give the fans
some time to give a pop.
Jon McDaniel::” And both men are
going out of their way to avoid the barbed wire.”
Rentfro: ”Well duh, it hurts”
Both men lock up in a
collar and elbow tie up, but Jonny breaks out of it and slips
behind Figgy, taking him to the mat with a drop toe hold. Jonny
quickly goes to weaken his opponent by applying a grounded front
face lock. Figgy shoots up to a kneeling position but collapses
to the mat as Jonny applies more pressure to the hold. Figgy
goes for a different approach by grabbing the arm of Maverick
and twisting his way out with an arm wringer. Both men roll to
their feet, Jonny tries to draw first blood by charging forth
and attempting to whip Figgins into the wire. But Figgy counters
with a short arm lariat! Jonny falls to the mat from the impact
of Figgy's forearm . Figgy quickly goes for the cover.
Jon McDaniel:: “ Figgy is going to have to do a
little bit more than that”
Brian Rentfro: “ Break his
Obviously, it would take a whole lot more than that
to keep good ol' Jonny down. Out of frustration, Figgins drops
an elbow across the throat of Maverick. Pulling Jonny by the
hair, Figgins pulls him to a sitting position and slips behind.
Figgins grabs a hold of Maverick's arm and with his free arm
begins to rain down elbows across where the left shoulder and
neck meet. The elbows rained in rapid secession, Figgy was
aiming for that neck.
Figgy finally ceases the assault,
letting Maverick drop to the mat. Figgins initially wanted to go
for the pin, but decides against it by pulling his opponent back
to his feet. In a raged bull rush, Jonny pushed Figgins right
into the northern row of barbed wire, the follow through of the
push caused the bottom wire to snap and cling to the left leg of
Figgins' tights. Figgins reverses the situation , causing the
wire to wrap around the both of them. This back and fourth
pushing continues until they make it the ring post and manage to
become untangled. The bottom wire completely comes off from the
ring post and lies in the ring. Seeing this, Jonny performs a
drop toe hold on Figgins into the wire. But Figgins managed to
stop his fall by grabbing it with his taped hands. While Figgy
was avoiding a barbed wire crisis, Jonny decides to make a whole
new one by grabbing the piece of loose wire and doubling it
over. Once Figgy turns around, Jonny wields the weapon like a
whip and brings it down upon Figgy's chest. The shirt of Figgins
begins to form small tears from the wire, no blood, but he sure
felt the sting.
Jon McDaniel:: “ Jonny is wailing on
Figgins with that barbed wire.”
Brian Rentfro: “ That's
gotta sting a little”
Figgy staggers back, getting away
from Jonny and his weapon. But Figgins never likes being the one
stuck in a defensive position. Figgins goes face to face once
more with Jonny and momentarily distracts him with a rake to the
eyes. Figgy slips behind him and lifts him up. Figgy takes a few
steps forward and gets Maverick hung on the barbed wire.
Maverick gasps, seeing as his twig and berries were laying right
across the barbed wire. Figgy finds the loose bit of barbed wire
on the mat and begins to wrap it around his heavily taped wrist
and hand. Apparently, he had an idea to really open up his
opponent. Figgy goes to the ring post nearest Jonny and climbs
the barbed wire. He leaps off and extends his arm with the
barbed wire gauntlet, he drives the arm into the chest of the
hurting Maverick with a LARIATOOOO!!!
Jon McDaniel:: “And
Jonny gets Leveled by that sick lariat”
”I'm really starting to get into this match”
'Dead Kennedy’s' shirt had been split down the middle and he had
a pretty good slash across his chest. He slumps onto the mat and
lays there for a few moments and Figgy quickly tries to
capitalize with a pin.
ONE!TWO! Kick out right at two!
Figgy grabs a handful of Jonny’s hair and picks him up to
his feet. He backhands Jonny hard with the barbed-wire gauntlet!
Jonny falls but quickly rolls under the bottom rope and out of
the ring, the cameras show that he is discussing strategy with
his manager, Danny. Jonny has a sizeable amount of blood coming
out of his forehead after the backhand from Figgy, but his
strategy discussion with Danny is cut short as Figgy comes
slamming into both of them with a TOPE SUICIDA!!!
McDaniel:: “Suicide Dive from Figgins takes his opponent out,
along with Danny”
Brian Rentfro: “ He's going to regret
doing that one day”
All three men lay outside in a huge
pile for a few moments before Figgy starts to get to his feet.
He grabs Jonny by the back of the head as he stands and tries to
throw him face first into the ropes but NO! Jonny puts his hands
on the apron and stops himself before his face connects with the
barbed-wire ring ropes. Jonny quickly turns around and hits
Figgy with an OF,MF!!! Jonny successfully hits Figgy in the face
with an open-palm to the face, then grabs Figgy by the back of
the head and throws him face first into the barbed-wire ring
ropes! Figgy gets a bit tangled up in the barbed-wire and Jonny
quickly starts taking advantage and picks up a barbed-wire
covered chair, then brings it smashing into the back of Figgy!
He examines his handiwork and is angered when he sees it has
yielded no blood and brings it smashing into his back again,
finally drawing blood. Jonny decides to let Figgy struggle in
the barbed-wire for a bit while he slides back into the ring...
he starts carefully taking the barbed wire off of the chair and
wrapping it around his thigh and knee.
Jon McDaniel:: ”Uh
oh, Jonny is planning something that looks painful”
Rentfro: “ Good thing we're not on the receiving end of whatever
Figgy finally manages to tear himself free of the
barbed wire at the expense of most of his shirt. He rolls back
into the ring and Jonny is waiting for him, the right leg of his
shorts and his right kneepad covered in barbed wire. Jonny
quickly locks Figgy in a collar and elbow tie up, but Figgy
easily overpowers him and drives him back into the ropes and the
audience gives a loud groan, but Jonny grits his teeth and
starts fighting, he starts driving his barbed wire covered knee
into Figgys chest! Figgy releases the hold and falls to a knee
and Jonny quickly runs across the ring, then runs back and nails
figgy in the face with a SHINING WIZARD THIGH KICK!!!!
Jon McDaniel:: ”OW! That HAD to cut him open”
Rentfro: “Really? You think?”
Figgins rolls over, holding
his face and trying to wipe the blood out of his eyes. Jonny
smirks as he kneels down and pulls Figgins up to a seated
position. Jonny grabs Figgy's face in an iron claw type fashion
, but instead of squeezing his face, Jonny digs his nails in,
trying to enlarge the cuts from the barbed wire . Figgy lets out
a cry of pain from this, it appears he had found what he's
looking for. Danny from ring side looks on, a smirk obvious upon
his face, obviously proud of Jonny's work right now. Figgy, not
in the mood for any fancy counters, goes for a plain and simple
left hand to the gut. The first time did not seem to work, so
the south paw begins to drill rapid shots to the gut until Jonny
Jon McDaniel::” Jonny is just being plain
Brian Rentfro: “That is what gets you
through these types of matches “
With the wind knocked
out of him, Jonny staggers back. Figgins pulls himself back to
his feet, and decides to get a small measure of revenge. With
his left hand, Figgins grabs Jonny by the hair his right forearm
comes up and grind into Jonny’s fore head. The barbed wire
wrapped around the forearm of Figgins digs deeply into Jonny's
forehead, bloodying him even further. Finally having his fill of
revenge, Figgins whips Jonny hard into the barbed wire. Jonny
went into it back first, the back of his shirt caught, causing
Jonny to have some slightly restricted movement. Seeing Jonny is
stuck, Figgins smirks and charges forward, he lowers his
shoulder and hits a SPEAR THROUGH THE MOTHER F*ING BARBED WIRE!!
Jon McDaniel:: ”OH MY GAWD”
The barbed wire snapped from the force of
the move, causing both men to spill outside the ring. Figgy
hesitates too long and takes a sick spill on the head. Jonny
Lands on his back and upon the barbed wire that was still caught
on his shirt. Both men lay motionless for a few seconds, Scott
Swindell goes outside the ring to check on them. He raises his
hand to the time keeper about ready to tell him to end the
match. But it seems both men read his mind and came back into
reality, trying to roll back to their feet. Scott ceases his
decision before it came into fruition. Figgy is the first to his
feet, he takes Jonny, who was on one knee, and throws him hard
into the announce table.
Jon McDaniel:: “Oh not again!”
Brian Rentfro: “Don't you do it, Figgy!”
to ring side, and ducks down under the apron for weapons. Figgy
feels something prick his fingers and smirks. He takes hold of
the object and pulls it out to reveal, a barbed wire covered
board. He dives under the ring once more and pulls out a table.
Once he got the table out, he set it up next to the ring, he
then grabs the board and places it on the table. He has an idea
to put Jonny down for good. But before he could go through with
it, the back of his head gets Intimate with a steel chair.
Figgins collapses to the floor, holding the back of his head.
Jonny apparently forced the time keep out of his chair while
Figgy was calculating his plan. Jonny waved Danny over, allowing
his mentor to take a few shots at his long time rival. Danny
smirks as he grabs a loose bit of barbed wire and tells Jonny to
pull him up. Danny uses his new weapon almost like a mob hit man
uses a piano wire, pressing it hard against Figgys throat.
Figgins lets out a few gasps trying to find air to his lungs.
Lacey finally gets involved in this match by thwacking Danny
with a Kendo stick. Danny let go of Figgy after feeling the
sharp pain in his back. Lacey chases Danny into the crowd by
hitting him with the stick.
Jon McDaniel:: “How is Figgy
going to go through the rest of this match?”
Rentfro: ”Maybe Figgy shouldn't have made such enemies with the
Before Figgy could even recover, Maverick smacks
Figgins in the back with the chair. Figgins falls to the floor
once more. Jonny begins to dissect for his finisher by bringing
the chair down upon Figgins' right arm. Jonny pulls Figgins back
to his feet to put his right arm into an arm wrench, to change
it into THE PERFECT ARM BAR!!! Figgy had been bleeding
profusely, took far too many spills, so he had no other choice
but to tap. Scott Swindell gets to his feet and tells the time
keeper to ring the bell.
DING DING DING.
McDaniel:: ”Figgy Taps! It's over!”
Brian Rentfro: “ The
Grizzly Beer champion better of watched this match, because
that's his next title defense. “
Eric Emerson: “Here is
your winner. Jonny Maverick!!”
Jonny finally lets go of
the hold when he hears Eric Emerson making the announcement that
he is the victor in this match. Jonny takes time to bask is his
victory, by commanding Scott Swindell to raise his hand while he
points to his raised arm in a cocky manner, just in
someone didn't notice the victory
We fade back to our
Welcome to the Spider’s Web
Countdown” by Europe – a little louder than what you’ve already
It only lasts for a few seconds before the
lights cut out and the music is replaced – “Renegade” by Styx
then kicks up over the airwaves… it too cuts out… someone can be
heard talking over a microphone.
???: No, no, that still
isn’t right – let’s try that one more time.
The voice is
unmistakable to the PWA faithful’s as flashing white lights
strobe and pyros dance along the entrance ramp before a giant
flashing tarantula comes to life over the ADC-tron. A familiar
melody takes over as “Holy Diver” by Dio finally fires to life.
A man in a pair of pearl white business slacks, black crocodile
loafers; a silk, Gucci Hawaiian shirt, and pearl white suit
jacket emerges from the entry way. The bearded silverfox takes
it all in as the older fans in attendance raise to their feet.
Jon McDaniel:: Wow Brian, I didn’t expect to see this man
Brian Rentfro: Shit me neither... I owe him a
little bit of money.
Jon McDaniel:: What’s a little bit
Brian Rentfro: (Gulp) 15K, What’s His Face.
A single spotlight highlights his entrance – as Dalton “The
Spider” Campbell makes his way down to the ring, soaking it all
in. He reaches the end of the entry way and holds both arms out
to the side, before spinning around in a circle. He takes his
time ascending the stairs up and into the ring. He crosses
between the top the middle rope and takes his place center
stage. He calls for the music to be cut.
Spider” Campbell: Damn it feels good to be standing in the
middle of one of these old things again.
pointing at the ring around him. He smirks, making sure to pull
his ponytail back into a tighter knot before proceeding.
Dalton “The Spider” Campbell: So it’s come to my attention that
my old stomping grounds, The Pioneer Wrestling Association, is
back in business once again. And never being one to squander a
business opportunity, let it be known, that myself and my
constituents over at Brink of Time Media have decided to take on
a partnership with the fine folks here and bring to you a weekly
televised product that will be aired on a multitude of networks,
including our very own - accessible through Twitch, YouTube,
DirectTV and our BRAND NEW streaming service BOT:TV – available
to you next week, August 28th!
The fans eat it up –
despite the lame sales pitch…
Dalton “The Spider”
Campbell: For the low price of $7.99 – you too can relive
history, with the entire catalogue of Magee Network content,
including your favorite AOWF umbrella promotions such as
Liberty, Unified, Victory, Continental, Justice, High Impact
Competition and so many more, right at your finger-tips.
Dalton “The Spider” Campbell: …and while it
may sound like I’m here just to promote a brand, my being here
tonight goes a lot deeper than that. After my grand-daughter a
third generation superstar, an amazing talent, a beautiful young
lady, gave her feelings a little earlier this week – it really
got me thinking. It awoke something within the depths of my soul
– and it was simply the love that I have for this sport. Of this
game. And… I want to talk about that for a minute.
moves around the ring for a moment, collecting his thoughts –
peering out to the stands to see two of his other grandchildren
front and center.
Dalton “The Spider” Campbell: I toured
the country, and the world for that matter, for many years –
back when we were considered nothing more than mere a circus
act. I did it for pocket change. I did it because it was
something that I believed in. The thrill of combat, the feeling
you get every time you pop out from the curtain, the love, the
admiration, the sheer adrenaline rush that comes from being a
wrestler. For every part of my soul that I gave, for every drop
of blood that I bled, I can look back and say that it was worth
it. That’s not just lip service to you fans, it’s truly a
humbling feeling to look back on and process every now and
again. It’s something that my family grew up in. It became a way
of life for us…
He stops dead in his tracks.
Dalton “The Spider” Campbell: So why are so many of you letting
it fail, now, when it needs you the most? Think about what it
gave to you in your prime – and to just let it slip away like
it’s nothing? Some of you couldn’t even be bothered to help
promote this thing three weeks out… and I get it… you’ve got a
life, COVID-19 is a real thing, you’ve got a family to raise…
but why not give back to the sport that gave so much to you in
the first place?!
Dalton looks to the heavens and then
back down to Hannah and Chance, their mouths agape.
Dalton “The Spider” Campbell: My time has come and gone, I’m
nothing more than an old man in a monkey suit trying to do
business – but some of you, most of you – are in the prime of
your life. I challenge you – Virus, Showtime, Phoenix, Sirus,
Protean, Lisa – to come out here for one final run and give it
your all. Help usher in a new generation. The same goes to those
of you who aren’t even signed up to be a part of this – Corey
Lazarus, Marcus Collins, Atticus Pike, Suukya, Teresa Quaranta,
Anna Matthews - and even my own son Dustin “Thunderwolf” Kelser.
I know you’ve got one last run in you, boy – I saw that fire in
your eyes at Homecoming, so don’t even pretend like you ain’t
got it in you.
He takes in one last deep breath before
making his way over to the ropes – ready to exit.
“The Spider” Campbell: It’s time to pay it forward, folks. I’ve
done my part, now you do yours. Don’t sleep on opportunity –
because now’s your time to shine.
“Holy Diver” by Dio
picks back up and just like that – he’s gone.
McDaniel:: That’s quite a announcement! Not only are we on Starz
here in the States and Super Channel in Canada we are also part
of this immense network of wrestling! How cool!
Rentfro: I hope he didn’t see me...
McDaniel shakes his
Jon McDaniel:: Well folks up next is a competition
that normally isn’t seen on wrestling programs.
Rentfro: Yes, who want’s to see two retired bloated PWA stars
get rip roaring drunk?! THIS GUY!
Rentfro does the thumbs
pointing down motioning to himself.
Jon McDaniel:: Well
before we get to that, Brian, word from the back is Meghan
Kelser is looking for someone! Let’s check it out!
Kids Say The Strangest Things
We cut to the makeshift backstage trailer area as the
fans cheer - seeing the CBO, Meghan Kelser, knock on the door of
a trailer with a sense of urgency on the ADCTron. Izzie McDee
answers and is taken back by the sight of her step mother.
Meghan Kelser:Can I come in?
Izzie McDee: I
Izzie lets her come into the dressing room
slash trailer and they both take a seat on a wooden bench
propped against the wall. Meghan holds up her hand as Izzie was
about to see something...
Meghan Kelser: Just let me
McDee begrudgingly nods and folds her
arms across her chest, waiting for the Cowgirl to talk.
Meghan Kelser: Listen, I know you aren’t the biggest fan of me.
I mean I get it. I have had step mothers myself and they aren’t
always that hot to trot. You know I have been around this
business since I was 14 and first met your dad when I was 17
through my pop, right? Well anyways I really love your father,
The Strader sister sighs.
Meghan Kelser: I
know his history. I know who he is and he knows who I am. I
never really had that with anyone until now. I love how vengeful
he can be. How wise he can be. How loving he is with his
children. You have beautiful twin siblings who would love to
have you in their life, just as all your other brothers and
sister do. Also... Tonight’s show? I didn’t book this card,
Izzie McDee: So you're telling me, straight
up, this wasn't a ploy?
Meghan Kelser: No, it wasn't.
However the thing is, and you pointed it out in your promo, Lisa
has wiped the damn mat with every piece of talent that has
walked out to that the ring to compete. Slaughtered them. Lisa
Seldon and Simon Kalis will forever be the OP characters in your
favourite video game and that’s just how the cookie crumbles.
You got this match because it’s something new... Lisa has faced
everyone and won from PWA past. I mean you talk a big game about
the AOWF World title when you got what, a single match under
your belt? Here is your chance to prove you belong in that
Meghan stands up and puts her right hand on
Meghan Kelser: Tamika booked you
because she knows what you are made of. Win or lose. You either
win with dignity or lose with dignity. Tamika believes in you, I
believe in you, and your dad does too.
The Chief Brand
Officer and President of the PWA leaves Izzie McDee with a
puzzled look on her face, letting it all sink in.
McDaniel:: Meghan is right, this is a chance to show everyone
what she can do with the one and only Lisa Seldon!
Rentfro:"Oh man, imagine that scene on moms teach se----
Jon McDaniel:: Brian!
Brian Rentfro: (gulps) oh right.
Family bonding. Etcetera etcetera. You are such a killjoy,
What’s His Face.
Jon McDaniel:: Damnit my name is JON!
Brian Rentfro: Man you got sensitive.
Jacob ‘Protean’ Seldon versus
Marcus ‘Showtime’ Ambrose
Grizzly Beer Drinking Competition
Jon McDaniel:: Well folks up next is a competition that
normally isn’t seen on wrestling programs.
Yes, who doesn’t want to see two retired bloated PWA stars get
rip roaring drunk?! THIS GUY!
Rentfro does the thumbs
pointing down motioning to himself.
Down at ringside,
everything is set-up for something that they really wouldn’t
have put up with back in the good old days. A ‘match’ that is
actually a drinking contest. Two bar stools have been positioned
in the middle of the ring, with an ice bucket of beer next to
each. Long-suffering PWA referee Scott Swindell, the moderate
voice of reason, is stood between the stools looking absolutely
mortified as somebody’s forced him to put on a bright red
novelty bartender uniform, complete with vest, bowtie, and
Jon McDaniel:: Well, folks, I’m not really sure
what to say about what you’re about to see. Two veterans of the
sport are going to try to out-drink one another for our… ahem…
Brian Rentfro: It’s definitely going to
entertain me, Jon!
Jon McDaniel:: I’m sure it is. At this
time we’d like to thank our sponsor, Grizzly Beer, and we’d like
to remind the good people at home that just as you wouldn’t hit
your cousin with a steel chair, you shouldn’t drink two dozen
beers with him either.
Brian Rentfro: And you’re way more
likely to do the first one if you’re already done the second
Jon McDaniel:: That’s right, so please drink
"You Know You're Right" by Nirvana
blasts out over the p.a. and the fans are on their feet for
Marcus “Showtime” Ambrose who makes his way down to the ring,
title belt slung over one shoulder.
Jon McDaniel:: And
here comes the AOWF World Champion…
Brian Rentfro: Not
sure he’s too happy about taking part in this little
Jon McDaniel:: Can you blame him?
Climbing into the ring, Showtime surveys the whole scene – bar
stools, beers, and the costumed Swindell – and just shakes his
head in disbelief. He hangs his title on the far turnbuckle and
then takes a seat on one of the stools. Swindell hands him a
microphone and gets a nod of thanks.
Jon McDaniel:: And
now we’re just waiting for the man responsible for this
"Make Yourself” by Incubus kicks up and Jacob
Seldon makes his way down to ringside. No title belt for him,
but a half empty bottle of Grizzly Beer in his hand and a
cigarette hanging from his bottom lip. He needs a shave and a
wash and the faded Liberty Wrestling Federation t-shirt he’s
wearing needs one too. He pauses momentarily on his way down to
woozily peer out at a couple of fans who are trying to get his
attention before deciding to flip them off… which he clearly
thinks is absolutely hilarious.
Brian Rentfro: Jacob
looks like he’s already half cut going into this thing, so this
should be fun.
Jon McDaniel:: If his recent activity on
social media is anything to judge from, he’s been off the wagon
for a while now.
Brian Rentfro: Hard to tell if that’s an
advantage or disadvantage.
He reaches the ring and drains
the beer before throwing it carelessly over his shoulder and
rolling under the bottom rope. It takes him far too long to
reach a standing position, a move which involves him dropping
his cigarette and then burning himself with it as he tries to
pick it up.
Brian Rentfro: I’m going to upgrade him from
half cut to already actually wasted here, Jon.
having made it up, he stumbles over to his waiting barstool and,
mercifully, manages to get perched atop it without knocking it
over. Swindell hands him his microphone, which he of course
drops but eventually manages to get under control, and then
takes up his own microphone to begin ‘officiating’.
Swindell: Okay, gentlemen, let’s go over the rules of the
Jacob barely lets him get started.
Seldon: You look sexy in that little outfit, Scott, are they
going to let you take it home and wear it for your wife?
Ever the professional, Swindell ignores him completely.
Scott Swindell: Beside each of you is an ice bucket containing
twelve bottles of Grizzy Beer. Every time I blow this whistle…
Jacob Seldon: They gave you a whistle too? This is the
cutest shit ever. Whose idea was this anyway?
Pretty sure it was yours, buddy.
Jacob belches and sways
a little on his stool.
Jacob Seldon: Yeah… Yeah, does
seem like something I’d come up with.
Swindell pushes on,
safe in the knowledge that he will be demanding more money for
Scott Swindell: Every time I blow this
whistle, you will open and drin--… Jacob did you just open one
of your beers?
Of course he did, and he’s now balancing
both it and a microphone between his knees while he uses the
same lighter he opened the bottle with to light another
Scott Swindell: Nevermind. Every time I blow
this whistle you will open and drink a beer. After every third
beer, you will be asked to complete a test…
No way did I come up with an idea that involves tests.
Scott Swindell: To complete a test that will establish your
level of intoxication. If one of you fails a test, they lose the
contest. If, at the end of four rounds of tests, we have no
clear winner then a draw will be dec--…
Jacob Seldon: A
draw? Fuck that. I say we go to sudden death.
Swindell: A draw will be declared. And now, gentlemen, without
further delay, let’s begin.
Swindell blows his whistle,
which startles Jacob despite the fact he’s just been told to
expect it. Showtime shakes his head and reaches down to crack
open his first beer. Jacob is already half way through his, but
Showtime drinks fast and after about two minutes Swindell blows
his whistle again and they start in on a second one.
Brian Rentfro: So who do you like in this one, Jon?
McDaniel:: I’m a wrestling commentator, Brian, this is just
Brian Rentfro: You used to be more fun, you
The second is downed and Jacob is opening the
third before Swindell even has a chance to blow his whistle, but
he does and Showtime matches the pace with relative ease.
Scott Swindell: Okay, gentlemen, that’s three beers down
which means it’s time for our first test. It’s an old standard,
but one that might catch you out…
He is looking quite
pointedly at Jacob as he says this.
Scott Swindell: …
Please could you recite the alphabet backwards.
Seldon: That’s fucking boring.
Swindell shudders with annoyance.
Scott Swindell: Be that
as it may, please proceed, gentlemen.
They get started in
unison, but pretty quickly Jacob realises it’s going to be much
easier to just cheat and say the letters a fraction of a second
after Showtime, which annoys Swindell even more, but he decides
to let it go – no doubt having made a mental note to demand
twice as much money at this point. They get to ‘A’ for a small
cheer from the fans, who really are very charitable.
Scott Swindell: Alright, you both managed to recite it
correctly… sort of… so this first round is a draw.
Seldon: Sudden death!
Scott Swindell: No, now we move on
to the next set of three beers.
He blows his whistle and
they set off drinking again. The first goes down with ease and
just a little gas. The second a little slower, but still pretty
speedy. Showtime appears to be having an especially easy time
Brian Rentfro: Hang on a minute…
Brian Rentfro: What’s Showtime drinking?
Jon McDaniel:: It should be a Grizzly Beer.
Rentfro: His label is different from Jacob’s.
zooms in on cue and sure enough Showtime’s beer has an
unmistakeably lighter colour on the label and bares the notice,
‘Not More Than 0.5% ABV’.
Brian Rentfro: He’s drinking
non-alcoholic beer! He must have arranged to switch them out
before the contest.
Jon McDaniel:: Some very underhanded
tactics by the AOWF World Champion here. I would normally be
outraged, but frankly, this is already such a pathetic spectacle
I’m beyond caring.
They polish off beer number six and
Swindell leads them into the next test.
So, gentlemen, for our next test…
Jacob Seldon: Rock,
Showtime: That’s a game, not a test, you
Jacob Seldon: You’re a test… icle, a testicle.
Scott Swindell: For our next
Jacob Seldon: …icle.
Scott Swindell: … we
are going to ask you to mount and dismount a turnbuckle, without
falling or slipping in the process. If you fall, you fail.
Showtime goes first and manages the climb up and dismount
with obvious ease. He gets a sarcastic slow clap from Jacob who
then makes his own attempt – cigarette still in his mouth, and
looking decidedly unsteady. There is a collective in drawing of
breath as he makes the upward climb, but somehow he makes it to
the top, giving himself a little shout of appreciation as he
does so. As he starts to dismount he quite obviously slips a
little, but tries to cover it by simply jumping off the
turnbuckle and landing on his feet on the canvas. Swindell looks
over at Showtime who waves as if to say ‘just let him have it’,
which he begrudgingly does.
Scott Swindell: Alright. So
it’s still all tied after two rounds, and…
Jacob has staggered over to the ice bucket
and is opening himself another beer.
Scott Swindell: …
now we will have another three beers, before our next test.
The whistle is blown and they set off again – seven, eight.
By this point, Jacob is looking extremely intoxicated. His hair
is slick and stuck to his forehead and his eyes have a
distinctly glazed look about them. It doesn’t make him any less
Jacob Seldon: Hey, hey Marcus!
Showtime: I’m still right here, you don’t need to yell.
Jacob Seldon: So you’re the fu--… *Belch*… You’re the fucking
AOWF World Champion now, huh?
Showtime: Last time I
He gestures over to the turnbuckle where
his title belt is still hanging.
Jacob Seldon: That’s…
that’s hilarious. I guess they fucking… they fucking FFG’d all
the real guys, right?
Showtime: Not you.
looks genuinely confused for a minute.
Showtime: Nobody FFG’d you.
Oh! Yeah. Well I… I fucking FFG’d myself, didn’t I?
gets a good laugh, albeit somewhat bitterly, at his own expense;
Showtime looks at him with obvious pity. Swindell doesn’t seem
to see the funny side either and blows his whistle extra hard to
prompt them to drink beer number nine, which they do, and then
it’s time for test number three. Can you believe people have
actually paid for tickets and have to sit through this? Over at
ringside, Jon McDaniel and Brian
Rentfro have seemingly wandered off to get a snack.
Scott Swindell: For test number three we’re going back to a
classic and we’re going to ask you both to stand on one leg and
touch your nose with your index finger.
Showtime pulls this off without difficulty. Jacob meanwhile
resembles a man trying to walk a circus tight rope on a
tricycle, swaying wildly on one leg and very nearly collapsing.
The crowd, to their credit, get behind him and giving him claps
and drums of encouragement. Somehow, some way, he manages to do
it – to the disbelief of Swindell who would clearly very much
like this long night to be over.
Scott Swindell: Okay.
It’s still all even at this point and…
anticipating Jacob’s interruption, but it doesn’t come. This
isn’t due to any consideration, but to the fact that Jacob is
busy trying to light himself another cigarette and keep his
vision single at the same time. It’s non-stop tests for him at
this point, really.
Scott Swindell: … so we move onto our
fourth and final set of drinks.
The whistle is blown and
they get down to it. After beer eleven there is a brief pause as
Swindell checks if Jacob, who is now sat on the canvas and
leaning against the legs of the barstool, is actually conscious…
he shouldn’t have gotten so close and he gets a belch right in
his face, which causes him to wretch and turn red with anger.
Showtime has clearly had enough of the whole affair and has
started playing with his phone. Nonetheless, they get through
beer twelve and that means it’s almost done – nobody is happy
about this than Swindell.
Scott Swindell: Alright! That’s
it for the drinking. One final test and then…
Scott Swindell: What?
Showtime: He said: sudden death.
Swindell is right at the end of his tether.
Swindell: No. No sudden death. The final test is quite simple,
I’m going to mark out a line with some tape across the middle of
the ring and your job is to walk it.
This proves to be
much easier said than done. First they have to move the bar
stools and ice buckets, which Jacob suddenly decides to try and
help with, resulting in ice going everywhere and everyone
slipping and sliding. After about five minutes – I mean, really,
if you paid PPV for this, ask for your money back, right? –
Swindell is able to get a line down. Showtime does the walk
while reading something on the Huffington Post, grabs his title
belt, and then rolls out of the ring to take a quick call. Then
it’s time for Jacob.
Jon McDaniel:: And we’re back,
folks, let’s see what we’ve missed.
Brian Rentfro: Pretty
sure Jacob’s fallen asleep here, Jon.
Jon McDaniel:: Oh
for goodness sake.
Yes, indeed, Jacob has decided to take
a quick nap, propped up like a broom in the corner. Seeing the
finish line in sight, Swindell decides to be brave and try to
wake him. Calling his name doesn’t work, a light shake doesn’t
work, a not so light slap doesn’t work… so he gets close and
blows his whistle very loud. Jacob’s eyes pop open.
Seldon: SUDDEN DEATH!
Before Swindell can reason with
him, he’s rolled out under the bottom rope and reached under the
ring apron to pull out a bottle of Jim Beam. Rolling back in, he
pops the top and just starts to pour the bourbon down his
throat. Swindell tries to intervene – the man’s a saint – and a
scuffle ensues. Showtime watches bemused from ringside, with
half an eye on Twitter.
Jon McDaniel:: Well, Brian, I
think I can safely say this is the lowest point of my career.
Brian Rentfro: The lowest point of your career so far.
As if on cue, Jacob takes it lower. Just as Swindell manages
to prize the bottle from his hands, his eyes roll back in his
head and he lets loose a torrent of projectile beer vomit all
over Swindell’s pants and shoes. The beleaguered referee looks
down at this mess for a second and then yells out, “You
alcoholic piece of shit!”, before barrelling into Jacob and
sending the two men clattering across the canvas. They tussle
for a minute, but drunk though he may be, Jacob is still a
professional and it doesn’t take long for him to reach a top
mount and start raining blows down on Swindell who is out cold
Jon McDaniel:: Somebody stop this!
Security and officials are pouring down the ramp towards the
ring. They pass Showtime who is making his way back up the ramp,
shaking his head and laughing to himself. Meanwhile, Jacob has
grabbed Swindell by the collar and dragged him into the corner
where he props him up in a sitting position and…
McDaniel:: Oh no, no, no, no…
… starts to unbutton his
Brian Rentfro: I don’t want to see this!
Neither do the good people at home and somebody in the
post-production trailer earns their keep, as Jacob flops out a
pixelated oblong. The crowd don’t have the luxury and there’s a
loud but… uh… mixed reaction? Sadly no amount of post-production
in the world could work fast enough to blur the acrid stream
that Jacob lets loose all over poor, poor Swindell who,
thankfully, is still unconscious. The ordeal lasts only a
minute, as Jacob is tackled by security guards who pile on top
of him and quickly work to preserve his dignity, before
gathering him up and lifting him out of the ring and down to the
floor below. The EMTs are checking on Swindell but nothing
appears to be seriously hurt except his pride – which is surely
Jon McDaniel:: I think I’m going to give my
notice, Brian, this is too much for me.
Brian Rentfro: Ah
don’t worry about it, I’ll get you a beer.
They carry Jacob up the ramp, drunken sailor posed
and half delirious with booze. On the way up he repeatedly yells
out what is possible “Pee-in-Ear Wrestling Association”, though
he’s struggling with the word ‘Association’. Meanwhile, the fans
give him the customary send-off:
# Nah-Nah-Nah-Nah #
# Hey-Hey #
# Goodbye #
And then, finally, thankfully, mercifully, the whole thing
We cut backstage, more
specifically to the outside of one of the makeshift locker room
trailers – where Thunderwolf, dressed to the nines in a fine,
slate gray business suit, makes his way over to his daughter –
extending his hand. She hops around from foot to foot,
stretching around in preparation for her match. The two quickly
embrace from the handshake before she cracks her neck to the
side. Thunderwolf looks her dead in the eyes. They don’t notice
the camera off in the distance.
Thunderwolf: This is it
princess, you’ve trained your whole life for this moment. Main
Event City. Pioneer Wrestling Association. The spotlight
squarely on your shoulders – it’s your time to shine. Corey,
Cliff, Jeffery, Brandon, myself – we’re all beyond proud of you.
The question is, now, are you ready to finally let all of that
hard work payoff? Are you ready to go rock Lisa’s skull?
Sarah nods her head with a smirk.
Izzie McDee: I’ve never
been more ready for anything in my life.
As confident as
she came across – her stomach was in knots. In her mind, there
was so much on the line tonight; a career could be made or
broken based off of her showing. Thunderwolf notices it despite
the outer shell.
Thunderwolf: Just remember, this is the
first of many. This isn’t your Superbowl. This isn’t your game
Seven. This isn’t your coup de grâce. This is just another
match, so don’t let the nerves get to you. If you want to win,
you’ve got to throw all of that to the back of your mind. Come
out swinging. Never say die. Remember what Marcus said – any
She nods – eyes of a child now looking back
at her father.
Izzie McDee: Any given night.
two bump both fists.
Izzie McDee: Are you coming out
there with me?
Dustin Kelser pulls his head and neck
backwards with a smile – he knew the question was coming.
Thunderwolf: I know what I said before – but this is your
night, and I refuse to take any of that away from you. I’ll be
waiting on just the other side of the curtain, like always. Go
out there, give it your best, and just know I’m with you the
whole way. We all are.
Thunderwolf runs a quick hand
through her hair and gives her a reassuring pat on the cheek.
The two go their separate ways for now and Sarah resumes her
stretches. Ready now, more than ever.
Jon McDaniel:: That
was so sweet. That must be what Meghan was referring with her
talk with Izzie earlier.
Brian Rentfro: When did you
become such a damn sissy, What’s His Face?
Hunter ‘The Viper’ Sullivan
versus Matthew ‘Virus’ Engel
Time Limit: 20
Jon McDaniel: Before we get
started with our next action filled match folks, and it will be
action packed! We actually have some words from one of our
returning stars recorded earlier today. Lets take a look.
Jon McDaniel gestures to the camera and production sweeps
in bringing the audience to Hunter Sullivan stood up against one
of the palm trees found unfettered and sprouting naturally
around the desert area venue. A backstage interviewer stands
disheveled and breathing heavy.
LBM: Thank you for your
Hunter Sullivan: Yeah, sure man, no
Sullivan casually takes a sip of his bottled
water, a face mask griped around his throat, having just having
moved the fabric away.
LBM: You're first match back in a
PWA and it's a huge one! You've known now for a few weeks you're
going to have to face an old opponent, Matthew Engel. My
question to you is, where is your head at going into this match
tonight. What message are you hoping these fans take home with
Hunter Sullivan: Well, it's like this really,
Matthew Engel is a really talented and highly skilled a
A small pause as Sullivan adjusts his
sunglasses to his brow.
Hunter Sullivan: So I guess to be
completely honest with you, how have I been preparing? Well,
I've been hitting more reps, I've been getting my steps in, and
hell, I've been doing a lot of meditating too. One thing I've
been thinking about, one thing I've Reeeeally been thinking
about, is how will I be remembered? I'm serious. I've done a lot
here in PWA, it's been one of the most important outlets for me.
As my fans know I've been deep in my music these last few years,
and they also know I've been an activist for women's equality,
Black lives matter, and mental health. But, y'know, that's a bit
inconsistent with the person these people have seen in the past.
I've got a lot of sins man, a lot. These last few weeks, as this
event started to become real and tangible, I've been shaping the
man you will see tonight.
Sullivan bleeds genuine,
taking another sip of his drink and pontificating his next
Hunter Sullivan: But that's really only part of
it. I've been around a long time and I haven't really got my
hands on that world championship belt. That's about to change.
So many damn eyes are going to be on me tonight, on us as a
brand. There on you, and they're going to be on everyone. The
Strader's are taking a big chance here. Picking the middle of a
pandemic to be the glorious comeback, it's risky man. This might
not work. What i'm saying is I don't have all the time in the
world. So what do I want them to take away from this match? I
want them to know who PWA's next World Heavyweight Champion is.
And frankly? I'm going to make Matthew cry like a little bitch
to do it.
We snap back to ringside with the catchy
afrobeats opening Sympathy of the devil.
Introducing now, hailing from Bailey's Bay, Bermuda...
Matthew Engel steps out from behind the curtains. He is in his
usual dark green tuxedo.
Brian Rentfro: Looks like
Sullivan lost his edge if you ask me!
Jon McDaniel:: The
man I just seen looked like a man ready to step up. So if you
ask me, I'm excited to see what Sullivan has to offer tonight.
The crowd gets on their feet giving Virus a Masters of
Armageddon style jeers, and it's a very loud reaction. Engel
begins to make his way down to the ring.
Eric Emerson: He
stands a little over six feet tall and weighs in tonight at 242
Jon McDaniel:: Interesting stats here tonight,
Matthew and Sullivan both occupy the same weight class, Sullivan
giving up about 15 pounds to the more dense Engel.
remains focused on the ring, and reaches the steel steps. He
ascends onto the apron, and climbs into the ring between the top
and middle ropes.
Eric Emerson: He is a four time PWA
World Champion... MATTHEW "VIRUS" ENGEL!!!
hear that What’s His Face McDaniel, 4 time world champ. Hunter
wishes he was that good.
Engel has removed his jacket,
tie, and dress shirt, revealing his standard white undershirt.
He begins to stretch in the ring and prepare himself for the
"Oh these are the most beautiful-est things I have
A bass, distorted and twisted, is strummed
"I will Sh*t on them!"
gaudy cacophony the entrance way illuminates with white rapidly
flashing strobe-lights and smoke, The latter of which is
propelled with such vehement ferocity you can hear it squeal
through Owen McMahon's gnarling bass.
Remember we have a great match lined up for our main event with
Lisa Seldon and Izzie Mcdee both prepped and ready for action!
Stay tuned. But right now we have a potential sleeper match
tonight. High work-rate wrestlers, have only met one on one in a
handful of occasions, this being the first time in I believe
nearly 10 years.
A timed drum fill precedes a guttural
dissonant guitar and violent snare hits that embrace a sloppy
but passionate performance. The energy is high as Sullivan
vibrantly runs out from behind the pummeling smoke. A genuine
excitement exudes from Hunters gesturing, pacing back and forth
on the stage, engaging with the crowd.
Brian Rentfro: We really need to stop letting people pick
their own entrance music, what in the hell is this noise!
Jon McDaniel:: Well Shitstain, it's not for me, but our fans
certainly seem to be enjoying it. I believe this is one of
Sullivan's own tracks. You can pick it up now on Spotify or
A kin to Sullivan's multitude of
performances on bar stages and decks in front of passionate
music fanatics, he returns the crowds energy here in PWA.
Exuding the aura of rockstar, Hunter embraces the warm welcome
with a broad and sincere smile. The former Viper descends the
ramp in smooth motions, thanking fans and pointing at any sign
along the way with his namesake. From ramp-way to matting,
Sullivan jerks himself up onto the ring apron in a swift motion,
stepping through the middle rope and embracing the ring.
Jon McDaniel:: Alright, folks at home the following match is the
standard 20 minutes. We're going to get right into it here it
seems. The ref not checking with both men for any unwelcome
objects, can never be too careful, and if you're asking me I
like my wrestling by the rules.
Brian Rentfro: If there
isn't any rules, how you gonna break them?! Amirite?!
Sullivan paces back and forth antsy in juxtaposition to Engel's
cool and dismissive demeanor.
clatters and Sullivan is the quickest on pace, low with his arms
active and ready. Engel scuffs and moves along the ropes, jaw
jacking and smirking at the grappler. Eager to set the tempo
Hunter corners Engel before lunging for limb. The virus switches
on and dashes out of the corner, firing back with a fleshy chop,
pushing Sullivan against the turnbuckle. Hunter sears in pain
but bounces back, bursting out of the corner heaving Engel
unsuspectingly up onto his shoulder and down with a wrestling
style slam. The aggression stays stern and pointed as Hunter
positions for a hook. Matthew is slimy and loose, rolling
through and out of the ring with a quick escape. There's little
to no breathing room however as Hunter is in pursuit. Engel
swings around ring post and slides into the ring, turning on his
heels stomping and cutting Sullivan off as he follows him back
into the ring. The ref swiftly gets in-between the two
competitors as Engel launches every cheap shot possible with
Hunter trying to get his feet under him. Engel pushes back
against the ref, looking to get his hands back on Sullivan,
DRAGON SCREW! Hunter picks the approaching foot, using his
amazing speed to capture and twist the leg on his competitor.
Jon McDaniel:: A slick Dragon Screw Brian! Sullivan's coming
into this with more edge if anything. You still convinced about
this new Viper?
Brian Rentfro: The match isn't over,
Matthew fights smart, Matthew fights with his head.
Swiftly Hunter snaps forward with a quick knee drop to the
hamstring, followed by positioning and an ankle hook. The Virus
flails a few stray closed fists that the referee quickly
chastises. The submission specialist however, keeps limb control
while tucking his head and more importantly his face to avoid
any straight shots to his nose. Engel jerks and changes his
strikes to legal closed palms pestering the Viper. A pop and
Sullivan transitions out of his position into the mount and
heaving his weight and body mass over Engels upper body,
grasping a headlock and controlling the problematic strikes.
Grinding away and jerking with his muscles Engel's ears fold and
twist in the grasp. Positioning is more available to Engel who
pushes up and against Sullivan's body weight, gaining his
footing. Hunter leverages his grip and grinds downward before
SNAP SAITO SUPLEX! Hunter's upper back and neck spike the
Jon McDaniel:: A wicked response from Engel!
however Matthew Engel is favoring his left leg just there a
Brian rentfro: What a ruthless approach to this match here folks. Sullivan's
getting back to his feet folks and Engel can't catch the
breather he needs right now with the pace Hunter has been
setting. Making him breath Brian, he's making him push his
weight, he's making him strug-WOW, Matthew with one of the
cleanest Dropkicks in the business!
Brian Rentfro: Woo
hooo, it's 4:20 somewhere and Engel was high in the air on that
one. Clean like you said. Matthews is Mr. Clean and he's gonna
end this match in a wash.
Hunter backs himself into the
corner grasping his jaw, cautiously making his way to his feet.
Matthews mocks his opponent non verbally, leaning into the
opposite corner, yawning. Trying not to let it shake him
Sullivan breaks out of the corner, Engel mirroring the action a
bit slower and a bit more casually. They both however burst with
equal aggression into a lock up. The Vipers height advantage
helps him press forward, snapping to the side when Engel pushes
back and clasps another grinding headlock, SAIT- no, Hunter
scouts the suplex, hooking his foot and sinking his weight.
Hunter makes himself an anchor grinding the headlock and
frustrates Engel. Firing a few body shots into the slightly
taller wrestler Engel makes his own advantage, pulling back into
the ropes and firing Sullivan off and across the ring. Engel
follows and drops to the matt, Hunter rebounding and jumping up
and over the prone former champion. Back across the ring and
Matthew is on the aggressive, catching the second rebound with a
tight Hip-toss, no, Sullivan uses his momentum to slide through
and deliver his own! Matt's not long down, quickly back to a
vertical, only to be grasped, lifted and dropped with the
inverted atomic drop! Engel sells with his face before being
hooked and forced to the canvas on his back. TEXAS CLOVER LEAF!
Matthews thrashes back and forth not letting Sullivan make the
turn and the fans are starting to get into the contest.
Brian Rentfro: nonononon!
Jon McDaniel:: I know, you
know, and most of all, Matthew Engel knows that if Sullivan can
step this through it's curtains!
And the Virus does know,
because he fires up a thumb to the eye! Scurrying away Hunter
claws at his eye, staggering backwards towards the ropes. Engel
easily dodges a few sloppy aimless blind haymakers before
scoring another picture perfect drop kick, sending Sullivan
through the second and third rope and ultimately tumbling to the
thin matting on the outside. Engel bounces on his heels
slightly, ignoring the tepid tingle in his knee. Back against
the ropes and flying through the opposite side! TOPE SUICIDA!
Sullivan who only just got to his feet, half blind, flies
violently back against the guardrail and Plexiglas germ guard,
knocking the whole structure over sloppily as the few nearby
fans back up.
Brian Rentfro: That was just gross!
Sullivan hit that guard rail with a sickening crash. Matthew
could just pick his teeth with this man right now.
ref immediately leaves the ring and checks the severity of the
hit. Matthew shakes off his own bump, staggering on his leg a
bit more noticeably as it seems he cracked it unnaturally
against the ground. It doesn't pause his intentions as he grabs
Hunter by his hair and sloppily pushes him against the ring
apron and back into the ring. The Viper is loosely moving,
staggering to his feet on his own once in the ring. Shaking off
some of the impact Hunter starts to gather his balance, looking
for his opponent. CROSS BODY! Engel from the top rope slams both
men to the mat, hooking a high leg and putting all his weight on
the chest. 2 count!
Jon McDaniel:: A real close call, but
Hunter's body was at such a high angle with that pinning
combination he was able to slip through it!
It's here the
crowd really start to turn on Engel, jeering as the former
champion fires a few unprotected closed fists into the groggy
Sullivan. Hoisting him to his feet once again Engel clasps a
wrist and pulls with all his upper body strength Hunter into the
far buckle, hitting the ground himself from the velocity! Hunter
slams chest first into the buckle! Not losing his feet though,
Hunter staggers backward and turns around into a slicing chop
that sears ears all around the venue. Agony plays a part in the
face Sullivan makes, clasping his reddening chest, only to be
forearmed across the collarbone. Wham! Engel drops to his back
after an impressive retort, A huge boot to the face. Engel oozes
embarrassment more than pain and scurries to his feet, hot.
VIPER SNAP! NO! Engel aloof and only by inches side steps and
stumbles. Completely caught off guard he doesn't even fully take
his advantage and loses it as Hunter's back to his feet. VIPER
SNA- this time Engel combat rolls out of the way, just as close
of a call, Engel's heart is in his throat when he gets back to
his feet! Hunter's blatant aggression challenges Engels cool
demeanor and it's frustrating him. He's being disrespected.
Jon McDaniel:: Such vehement aggression. As my son once
said, Hunter is just holding W. I don't know exactly what that
means, but what I do know is he really shook Engel right here.
Sullivan's back to his feel in swift motions but the
advantage is still in Engels hands, flying an angry boot into
The Viper's stomach once he's gained his feet. DDT- No, Hunter
thrusts forward tackling Engels back square in the turnbuckle!
The ref quickly gets in and demands a break at the ropes. Timid
Sullivan and Engel put their hands up slowly, making space
between them cautiously. SLAP! Sullivan loses the spit in his
mouth and staggers back, Engel snarling out of the corner with a
gross sounding chop, another! Hunter backs up before Engel fires
up another toe ki- DRAGON SCREW! The same leg as before! Engel
lets out an uncharacteristic yelp as he grasps his knee!
Sullivan smells blood in the water as Matthew grabs the second
rope and pulls himself to his feet. A THIRD DRAGON SCREW! Hunter
hits the second rope and springboards off! A violent knee to
knee collision! the momentum flows him through a little but
Hunter clutches the targeted leg and yanks the hamstring, and
more importantly Engel closer to the center of the ring. Single
Legged Boston Crab!
Brian Rentfro: Engel's fighting! He's
fighting for those ropes!
Engel is fighting, in fact he's
thrashing about, reaching for the closest rope, he's too far! To
the left and those ropes are too far too! in this moment Engel's
pain is only matched by his pride and his anger. Wrenching back
Sullivan tries to ensure the finish, but Engel uses his leverage
against him, picking and tripping the closest leg. Hunter
stumbles his grip just enough for Engel to roll out of the ring
and take a powder.
Jon McDaniel:: I don't know if Engel
was anticipating this from Sullivan tonight, it's written all
over his face.
Engel staggers along the outside of the
ring, muttering and holding his leg.
"I'm done with this
Jon McDaniel:: Wait, where is Engel going? Is
Brian Rentfro: y'know what, Sullivan has been
nothing but disrespectful all match. He doesn't need any of this
today. It's hot out, there's some really ugly women over there
yelling at him too, id get out of here if i were him. He doesn't
have anything to prove to ANYONE.
Jon McDaniel:: What,
this match is just getting going!
The ref looks quizzical
as Engel flips the bird and turns his back, trying to hide his
limp as best he can as he slowly starts heading towards gorilla.
Fan's are indeed laying into the Virus as he shares the middle
finger to them as well, scoffing them off. Hunter, on the other
hand has his hands on his hips gawking at Matthew just walking
away. The ref hits his 4 count when the fans really get rowdy.
They do, however, pop rather loudly as Sullivan rolls out of the
ring, taking chase.
Jon McDaniel:: Yeah, that's what i
wanna see, go get him!
Sullivan grabs Matt by the arm and
swings him around. Shoving him in the chest and staggering him
back. The camera picks up The Vipers distaste, demanding to know
what the hell he's doing!
"You're not worth my damn
With that guttural and dismissive response The
Virus lands a kick square in Hunters nuts!
Now what the hell was that for!? That was completely uncalled
Engel gives one more blatant middle finger directly
and maliciously to Sullivan who groans in pain over the clanging
of the bell.
Eric Emerson: And the winner, by
disqualification, HUNTER SULLIVAN!
The fans jeer over the
announcement. The result doesn't matter.
Hahahaha, He don't look like much of a winner from here does he?
Jon McDaniel:: You think this is funny? This was a
disgrace. We here at PWA pride ourselves in providing the best
talent, the best matches. These fans were looking forward to
this and Matthew Engel just spat in every one of their faces. I
apologize folks for my broadcast partners lack of empathy here
tonight and I sure and hell hope that the Straders are watching
and something is done about this brash egotism! Ugh, what a damn
shame. Anyways we have our final previously aired High Stakes
match to show, and it is one of my personal favourites!
Matthew Engel (c) vs Jethro Hayes
'I Quit' Rules
Eric Emerson: Ladies and
gentlemen, it is time for the main event. Tonight’s match, as
voted by the fans, will be an ‘I QUIT!’ Match for the Undisputed
Heavyweight Championship of the World!! Introducing first, the
Colt Ford's special remake of this song for
Jethro Hayes hits up in the arena's speakers. The youngest Grand
Slam Champion in PWA history walks through the black curtain, he
looks out to the crowd.
~Down the road where the black
top ends, you can find Jethro Hayes with all his friends, we're
used to gravel roads, and fishin' with cane poles, wasn't no
swimmin' pools, jus swimmin' holes.~
Up on the screen a
blacktop road begins to wind away in front of us and we travel
along it as though we are in a car. Jethro holds his fisted
right hand into the air and the crowd pops for. Jethro begins to
walk down the ramp making sure to slap the hands of the fans
along his way. Jethro goes from side to side because if they are
going to respect him for what he is doing and how he is changed,
he will respect them as well.
~We was dirt road poor, and
cane switched raised, done came a long way since back in them
days, been ‘round the world twice seen all fifty states, ate on
thousand dollar china, but love sum paper plates , there aint
nuthin wrong with them big city lights, but me, I prefer them
slow country nights, where I can see the darkness come and then
Along the side of the ropes are buildings erected
with the names of the Championships that he has won instead of
typical names of businesses. Other such names include "Hall of
Fame", "Wrestler of the Quarter", "Face of the Year", and many
"Match of the Quarter" buildings are all along side the rode. He
reaches the bottom of the ramp.
~Most folks is honest,
and they all speak slow, you can leave your door open, aint
nuttin' gunna happen, most country folks sing, but I couldn't,
so im rappin, I wanna show yall where I come from, and invite
yall all down to any country town~
The road winds through
a small city, but the image of the very arena in which we are
having the PWA show tonight comes into view around a corner.
Jethro climbs the steps and is on the apron. He wipes his feet
out of respect for the legends in this sport and the respect he
has for this sport before stepping through the ropes.
(Chorus with Jon Michael Montgomery singing)
Now before I
pack and things and leave, there's sumthin I need yall to
understand, I seen alotta things in my life time, that's why I
walk the line, I'm just a simple man, and I aint in the things
for cheep thrills, but all my scars heel, so don't you ever cry
for me, I aint ashamed where I'm from, you're always welcome, to
take a ride through the country.
Eric Emerson: From
Lenox, Georgia he stands at six feet seven inches, weighing in
at three hundred and fifteen pounds... Jethro Hayes!
dressed, and gone by 5 am, he's country, and he's rappin' we
gotta play him, folks been waitin for some one like me, to give
‘em some hot beats and spit that country~
Jethro hits the
ropes, bouncing off to get the blood pumping a bit before his
match. The blacktop road in front of us enters the arena's door
and heads somewhere inside.
~His overalls don't sag, they
fit, they kinda tight, got on a Jon Deere t-shirt, no nothin'
but work. Daylight til dark, that's how I was bread, and I'll
keep bein' country til the day I'm dead~
the turnbuckle that faces the majority of the crowd, holding up
his fisted right hand before pointing to them. Just in front of
the blacktop road is a black curtain, we sit here waiting as
though it is the end of our ride.
~See, country folks eat
biscuits called cat heads, bar-b-q, baked beans, sweet tea, and
white bread, we like to fish and hunt, aint scared of a fight,
love the Good Lord and believe in doin' right,~
down, rushing to the opposite side of the ring to climb up and
point to that section of the crowd.
~Got 4-wheel drives,
some got mud on ‘em, you can keep your rolls roice, cuz baby, we
don't want 'em! So now yall all know exactly who I am, and if
you aint into that, i don't give a damn!~
down, heading to the third corner and once again climbs up,
pointing out to himself before he points to the crowd.
The chorus hits up again...
~Now before I pack my things
and leave, there's sumthin I need yall to understand, I seen
alotta things in my life time, that's why I walk the line, I'm
just a simple man, and I aint in the things for cheep thrills,
but all my scars heel, so don't you ever cry for me, I aint
ashamed where I'm from, you're always welcome, take a ride
through the country.~
Jethro climbs the final turnbuckle, and
points to this section of the crowd.
~You might have seen
me on your t.v, but honey, that don't mean a thing, you see, I'm
still that same ‘ol country boy, and that's all I'll ever be,
and sometime, those bright lights blind me, and make it hard for
me to see, but when I need to be reminded, I take a ride through
Jethro drops down, he heads to center ring
where he looks down to gather his thoughts before the match.
~At about 5 o'clock on Friday afternoon, them country boys
head down to the local saloon, you welcome to stop in and have a
cold bottle, big city boys and stuck up super models, we don't
care where ya from, as long as you polite, cuz push come to
shove and every one of us will fight~
Even through the
roar of the crowd, Jethro nods as he listens to the song and
allows it to remind him of things in the past. It reminds him of
the times he's been pushed around and how he will not let it
~We mostly easy like Sunday morning, ol'
Colt came here to give yall fair warnin', country folks wont be
pushed around, and theres some of us livin' in every town, we
believe in the Bible, and the U.S.A, work hard for what you
want, it's the American way, no body owe you nothin' supposed to
earn your keep, but in a hard days work, get a good nights
I know some of yall think Colt's kinda odd, but I'm
loud, proud and country by the grace of God!~
points to the crowd one last time as the blacktop view on the
big screen seemingly flies through the screen, showing that
Jethro considers those fans in attendance friends.(it goes back
to the very first line in the first verse). Jethro turns to face
the entrance ramp, raising his head up so that he can see it
Eric Emerson: And his opponent, hailing from
Matthew Engel steps out from behind
the curtains as one of the moving spotlights shines down on him.
He is in his usual dark green tuxedo, with the World Title
around his waist. The magnificent voice of Axl Rose comes to
"Please allow me to introduce myself..
I'm a man
of wealth and taste.
I've been around for a long, long
Stole many a man's soul and faith."
gets on their feet, but most of them are booing the former World
Champion. Engel begins to make his way down to the ring.
Eric Emerson: He stands six feet tall and weighs in tonight at
"Pleased to meet you.. hope you guess my
But what's puzzling you is the nature of my game."
Engel remains focused on the ring, and reaches the steel
steps. He ascends onto the apron, and climbs into the ring
between the top and middle ropes.
"I watched with glee..
While your kings and queens..
Fought for ten decades..
the Gods they made."
Eric Emerson: He is the reigning PWA
Undisputed Heavyweight Champion of the World... he is MATTHEW..
"Just as every cop is a criminal..
and all the sinners.. saints..
as heads is tails, just call
'cause I'm in need of some restraint.
if you meet me..
have some courtesy..
have some sympathy..
and some taste.
Use all your well learned politesse
I'll lay your soul to waste."
Engel has removed his
jacket, tie, and dress shirt, revealing his standard white
undershirt. He begins to stretch in the ring and prepare himself
for the match.
DING DING DING!
Engel and Hayes
circle each other in the ring. Engel lashes out first and nails
Hayes with a right hook. Engel bullrushes Hayes into the ropes,
but Hayes locks on with a headlock. Engel shoves Hayes across
the ring into the ropes, and Hayes comes back with a shoulder
tackle, taking down Engel. Hayes goes into the ropes and comes
down with a big elbow drop. Hayes lands a few stomps on Engel
and then gets him to his feet. Hayes grabs Engel by the head and
slams him face-first into the turnbuckle. Engel staggers back,
and Hayes tries for a clothesline, but Engel ducks. Hayes turns
around and gets met with a painful kick to the face from Engel.
Hayes staggers back and then Engel takes him down to the mat
with a dropkick. Engel springboards off the middle rope and
connects with a moonsault.
Hayes charges at Engel, but
Engel slides away and grabs Hayes' ankle, tripping him up. Engel
quickly drops an elbow on Hayes' neck. He does it again, and
then goes off the second rope and connects with a guillotine
legdrop. Engel stomps Hayes in the chest and backs up for a
moment. Hayes begins to move, and Engel hits Hayes with another
stomp and a stare. The stare hurts more.
Engel not letting Hayes have ANY breathing room, just like he
Jon McDaniel:: Hayes isn't going to give in
with stomps and stares, Brian!
Hayes gets back to his
feet. He cracks his neck, and nods. Hayes and Engel lock up, but
Hayes is quick to land an elbow to Engel's side. Hayes follows
it up with some hard knees to the stomach and hits a neckbreaker
on Engel. Hayes flies into the ropes and comes back with a body
Engel is to his feet. Hayes checks him with a
quick right, and follows it up with a jaw-breaking left hook.
Engel stumbles back and Hayes tries for a running lariat, but
Engel ducks underneath him. Hayes turns around towards Engel and
Engel comes at him with a side kick, but Hayes catches Engel's
foot. Engel tries for the enziguri, but Hayes dodges. Engel
crashes to the mat and Hayes is right on him for another
assault. He unchambers lefts and rights, and then gets Engel to
his feet. Hayes takes him down with a quick hip toss, but Engel
is to his feet. Hayes spears him into the corner.
McDaniel:: That's gotta hurt! Engel looks in a lot of pain.
Hayes runs to the opposite corner. He raises his right arm
for the crowd and the crowd gives him a good pop. He charges
towards Engel and tries for an elbow smash.
Hayes connects with the turnbuckle as Engel dodges at the
last second. Engel wraps Hayes up at the neck and head from
behind and drops him to the mat with a reverse DDT. Engel gets
to his feet and starts violently kicking Hayes. Engel goes into
the ropes and comes back with a high-elevation knee drop across
Hayes' forehead. Hayes grabs his head in pain and Engel shouts
at him. Engel gets Hayes to his feet and shoves him into the
turnbuckle. Engel springboards off the middle rope, twisting in
midair and extends his left leg toward Jethro. Engel catches
Hayes in the jaw with his foot and Hayes falls to the mat.
Hayes to his feet. Engel starts to give him some lip, but
there's too much of it as Hayes takes him down with a haymaker.
Hayes grabs Engel's arm and rushes toward the turnbuckle. Hayes
hits a tornado cross arm breaker on Engel. Still holding on to
Engel's arm, he rings him up and attempts to kick Engel in the
back of the head. Engel telegraphs it and ducks, grabbing his
leg and taking him down to the mat. Engel is up and Hayes gets
to his feet. Engel kicks Hayes low and uses Hayes leverage to
nail him with a single-arm DDT.
Hayes is a bit groggy now
as he gets to his feet. Engel wraps his arms around Hayes' head
and then plants his own head under Hayes' jaw. Engel quickly
drops to his knees, hitting a huge jaw-breaker on Hayes. He
doesn't go for a cover, but flies into the ropes. He connects
with High Voltage on top of Hayes. Hayes cringes and begins to
gasp for air. Engel is up to his feet. He lands a few stomps,
and gets Hayes up to his feet. Engel drags him over to the
corner, accidentally giving Hayes enough time to catch his
breath. Hayes slams his elbow into Engel's stomach and then
hooks up Engel with a front facelock. He puts Engel's arm over
his head and then cradles Engel's left leg. He hits Engel with a
big-time fisherman's suplex
Engel starts coughing and
gasping for air himself. Hayes hits a soccer kick on him, and
gets him to his feet. Hayes sends him into the ropes and
telegraphs a clothesline. He connects this time and sends Engel
to the canvas. Hayes climbs to the top rope. He gets a cheap pop
from the crowd. He flies off and connects with a legdrop over
However Engel is up to his feet as Hayes
grins. Hayes lashes out, but Engel dodges it and wraps Hayes up
in a hammerlock. Engel dishes out some brutal forearm shots to
Hayes's back and neck and then kicks out the back of his knee.
Hayes is down to one knee and Engel steps back and unleashes a
really hard kick into Hayes' neck. Hayes falls to the mat and
Engel is on the attack. He hits Hayes with multiple forearm
shots and punches. He gets Hayes up to his feet and lands a huge
ace cutter. Engel stomps away at Hayes, and then brings Hayes up
to his feet. Engel whips Hayes into the ropes and connects with
a perfectly timed dropkick!
Brian Rentfro: Engel is up to
the top rope now… are you ready for this Jon!?
McDaniel:: Engel leaps off!!
Engel connects with the
Euthanasia, crushing Jethro! Engel bounces up to his feet, and
requests a microphone. A microphone is tossed to him by the
staff. Engel shoves the microphone in Jethro’s face, yelling at
him to give up.
Jethro Hayes: NO THANKS!
grins and smacks Jethro in the head with the microphone. Engel
goes up to the top rope once more, his back to the ring.
Jon McDaniel:: Not again!
Brian Rentfro: Do it Matt! Make
Engel leaps off with the Euthanasia, but lands
on Jethro’s knees! Engel is holding his chest and stomach in
pain, and Jethro manages to get up to his feet with the help
from the ropes. Jethro gives Engel another kick to the ribs, and
then another. He brings Engel up to his feet and whips him to
the ropes. Hayes picks Engel up on the return for a powerslam,
but drives Engel’s back into both of his knees! Jethro doesn’t
quit as he gives Engel a stomp the chest again, and then brings
him back up to his feet. Hayes delivers a tilt-a-whirl
backbreaker on Engel and then goes into the ropes. Hayes comes
down with a splash on Engel crushing those ribs again. Hayes is
up to his feet and puts Engel in the Combine Seat!
McDaniel:: The Combine Seat! He’s gotta make Engel say it!
Brian Rentfro: Never, Jon!
Engel is in a lot of pain
as Hayes brings the sharpshooter back even harder. The referee
has got the microphone up to Engel’s face, and Engel is shaking
his head no. Hayes yells at the referee, the mic picks up the
Jethro Hayes: ASK HIM! NOW!
obliges. What do you say, Engel?
Matthew Engel: FUCK YOU!
Engel says with anger and pain…he’s trying to get out of the
submission move Jethro has him in, but Jethro has got it locked
in hard. However, Engel snatches the microphone out of the ref’s
hand and uses the blunt end of it to smash Jethro’s right knee!
Engel keeps pulverizing Hayes with that microphone and Hayes is
trying to fight the pain so he can keep Engel in the position he
Jon McDaniel:: Jesus, Engel is beating Hayes badly
in the knee with that microphone…he could do some serious
Brian Rentfro: Then Hayes should let go and
realize Engel won’t give up!
Engel is slowly fading and
hitting Hayes less and less. Finally, Engel…passes out from the
Jon McDaniel:: Oh man. That’s not good.
Brian Rentfro: Crap! Get off him, Hayes! You can’t make him say
it when he’s unconscious!
Hayes realizes what’s going on,
and releases the hold. Hayes brings deadweight Engel up to his
feet and presses him against the ropes, slapping his face to try
to wake him.
Jon McDaniel:: What..uh..what happens if
Engel doesn’t wake up?
Brian Rentfro: Then the time limit
expires and it’s a draw?
Jon McDaniel:: I suppose. We
should have been a little more organized here, especially with
how far these two are willing to go.
But Engel wakes up
after being slapped a fifth time and in a fit of confusion and
rage, he slams his foot right into the groin area of Jethro
Hayes, who falls to the mat with a blue face. Engel stumbles
back and lays against the turnbuckles, not sure what the fuck
just happened. Hayes tries to get up to his feet, shaking off
the kick to the balls he just got. Hayes tries for the Plow in
the corner, but Engel dodges at the last second and Hayes
connects with the ringpost. Engel slips out of the ring and
grabs a steel chair from underneath the ring. Hayes peels
himself out of the corner as Engel gets back in the ring. Engel
nails Hayes in the back with the steel chair, but that only
seemed to anger him. Hayes turns around with his eyes wide in a
fury and gives Engel a kick to the gut. Hayes hits The Planter
on Engel, nearly sending him through the ring! Hayes falls to a
knee from the momentum and impact. Engel looks damn near dead –
that was the Planter to end all Planters.
I don’t think I’ve ever seen Jethro slam anyone that hard.
Brian Rentfro: Me either, Jon.
Jethro grabs the steel
chair and slams it into Engel’s bad right knee. Engel screams
out in pain, and Hayes requests another microphone. He shoves it
into Engel’s face, asking him once more to give up.
Jethro Hayes: Just say it, Matt. Don’t make me end your career.
Engel shakes his head.
Matthew Engel: Do it! You
Hayes shakes his head and slams the chair
into Matt’s bad knee two more times. He asks Matt again.
Jethro Hayes: Well?!
Engel shakes his head, biting his
bottom lip trying to hold in the pain, but it’s damn near
unbearable. Engel is rolling around the ring, and even trying to
get up with the help from the ropes. Jethro slams the chair into
his knee once more and Engel topples, his screams echoing
throughout the arena. Jethro slams the chair again and again!
Jon McDaniel:: Okay, wow. This is getting bad, Brian. Why
the hell doesn’t Engel give up?
Brian Rentfro: Because he
can’t! He wants to win this more than anything!
finally rolls out of the ring, falling the floor. Jethro chases
him, climbing out of the ring to the outside. Engel takes his
good leg and kicks Jethro in the gut a few times, and then
literally uppercuts Jethro with a toe kick. Engel buys some time
to crawl up to his feet, now having a bit of a limp due to
Jethro’s attack on his bad knee. Engel ducks under a running
lariat attempt from Jethro and manages to roundhouse Jethro
right in the jaw with his good leg. Engel falls to a knee
though, and then uses the steel steps to get back up to his
Jon McDaniel:: Unbelievable Brian. Engel took a
hellacious beating to his bad knee, and he’s still fighting
Brian Rentfro: The stakes can’t get any higher than
Jon McDaniel:: Wow, really?
Rentfro: Come on, I couldn’t go the whole time without saying
Engel picks the steel steps up and throws them at
Hayes, hitting Hayes right in the head! Hayes falls to the
ground and his face is busted wide open! The crowd is going
crazy, cheers for these two PWA legends split down the middle.
Crowd: VI-RUS! VI-RUS!
Crowd: JETH-RO HAYES! JETH-RO
Engel delivers a few stomps with his good leg to
Hayes’ face. He manages to bring Hayes up to his feet, still
favoring his right knee. He slams Hayes into the ringpost and
Hayes’ cut is spread open even more. Engel goes to throw a
haymaker but Hayes blocks it and headbutts Engel! Jethro kicks
Engel low in the gut, and then delivers a pump-handle slam to
Engel on TOP OF THE BARRICADE!
Brian Rentfro: GOOD GOD!
Engel’s spine’s gotta be snapped in half!
Jesus. How the hell are these two going to be partners after
Brian Rentfro: It’s not personal, Jon. It’s
about the glory! The title! Being the top man in the company.
Nobody wants it more than these two!
Engel fell to the
crowd side of the barricade, holding his back in terrible pain.
Hayes climbs over the barricade and begins to stomp and throw
punches into Engel. He brings Engel up to his feet and GERMAN
SUPLEXES ENGEL BACK OVER THE BARRICADE AND INTO THE BLOODIED
STEEL STEPS! Engel’s head bounces off the steel steps and he
lies there, nearly motionless. He’s screaming in pain, and Hayes
climbs back over the barricade, blood gushing down his face. He
signals for the referee, who has managed to keep hold of a
microphone. He demands he shoves it in Engel’s face.
Jethro Hayes: GIVE UP MATT!
The crowd is cheering for
Matthew Engel: Nev…never. NEVER YOU
Engel slams his right fist into Jethro’s jaw and
Jethro stumbles back. Engel tries to crawl up to his feet, and
Jethro attempts to punt Engel in the head but Engel rolls out of
the way just in time. Engel gets to his feet and we can see the
blood coming out of the back of his head. Engel gives Jethro an
uppercut and knee to the ribs combo, then clotheslines him to
the floor! Engel is amped up now and the crowd is getting behind
Jon McDaniel:: No one is in their seat – this is it,
folks. This is about as good as it gets, two men who are willing
to die to be the World Champion.
Brian Rentfro: I hope
it’s that damn redneck!
Jon McDaniel:: I hope it’s
neither, I was just expressing how far they’ve been willing to
Engel reaches for something underneath a ring…it’s a
baseball bat! He has an idea immediately and jumps on top of
Hayes who is still on the ground. Engel is shoving the baseball
bat into Hayes’ throat, demanding he give up! The referee gets
down with the microphone, asking Jethro if he wants to say it.
Jethro keeps shaking his head as the crowd is damn near
deafening. Engel presses the bat into Hayes’ throat even harder,
we can catch Engel’s audio on the mic.
Matthew Engel: YOU
KNOW I’LL DO IT! JUST GIVE UP! THE TITLE IS MINE!
shakes his head again, but his face is beginning to turn blue.
Brian Rentfro: Why doesn’t that big idiot just give up?!
Jon McDaniel:: The same reasons why Engel never will. Why
did these fans think this was a good idea?!
to come back to life, and manages to overpower one side of the
baseball bat on Engel. Hayes’ strength is obviously greater than
Engel’s, and he manages to smack the barrel of the bat against
the side of Engel’s head! Engel rolls off of Hayes, dazed from
the hit. Hayes goes to hit a homerun on Engel, but Engel gives
Hayes a kick to the knee Engel was beating on before. Hayes
nearly topples over, falling to a knee; Engel kicks Hayes right
in the face, but Hayes refuses to go down. Engel knocks the bat
out of Hayes’ right hand and jumps at his throat.
Rentfo: Engel’s got that arm trap triangle choke locked in on
Jon McDaniel:: That’s the same move he beat Katie
Brian Rentfro: It’s the same move he won the
World Title in March with!
Engel and Hayes go to the
floor as Hayes tries to fight back, but Engel has got the hold
locked in tight. Hayes is struggling to breathe, but the pain is
worse than the suffocation right now. All the brutality he has
endured and Hayes feels helpless. He doesn’t know if he can hold
out. The referee brings the mic up to his mouth.
Engel: Just…just fucking say it, man. You’ve made your point.
Hayes shakes his head, trying to muscle out of the hold, but
Engel has got it locked in extremely well and Hayes barely has
the strength to move. He knows it’s time.
Hayes looks up and can see some of the crowd
near him. He closes his eyes, nearly facing paralysis and a
career-threatening injury. For the sake of his well-being and
fans, he decides it’s time.
Jethro Hayes: I…quit…
DING DING DING!
Engel lets go of the hold immediately as
the bell sounds. Hayes is nearly passed out, struggling to
Eric Emerson: And the winner of this match…
STILL your PWA Undisputed World Heavyweight Champion… MATTHEW
Engel rises to his feet, the crowd is
going apeshit crazy. The referee hands Engel his World Champion.
Engel’s back, chest, and some of his face are covered in blood.
Jethro Hayes from face to stomach is covered in blood.
Jon McDaniel:: These two men went to the depths of hell, and
only one came out the winner.
Brian Rentfro: And it was
Matthew Engel, Jon. Don’t forget that.
Jon McDaniel:: I
won’t, neither will anyone else. This was a historic match…and I
just hope these two can still represent the PWA as community tag
team champions after this brutal, devastating match up.
EMTs come down to the ring, immediately going towards Jethro
because the EMTs have a bad history with Engel. Engel begins to
limp away, however, as the EMTs put Jethro on a stretcher. Engel
is limping up the rampway, covered in blood and sweat. He turns
around as Jethro is being worked on before they wheel him away.
He doesn’t look like a man who has made history for himself and
kept his championship; he looks regretful and full of despair.
Jon McDaniel:: Engel doesn’t seem too pleased, Brian.
Brian Rentfro: It’s hard to imagine Engel has grown a sense
of fondness towards Jethro in their loose tag team partnership.
He’s grotesque, Jon!
Jon McDaniel:: But no one has pushed
Engel so far and for so long inside the ring, Brian. No one.
Jon McDaniel:: Wow, that brought back
a lot of memories!
Brian Rentfro: Made me remember Jethro
wasn’t one for showering.
Jon McDaniel:: Neither did you
from 2015 to last week. Anyways at least in that match Engel
didn’t act like a child like he did 20 minutes ago! Anyways it’s
main event time!
Brian Rentfro: Oh man, Lisa Seldon
scares the shit out of me....
McDee versus Lisa Fucking Seldon
Limit: 20 Minutes
In the ring, announcer Eric Emerson
and referee Lance Watson are gearing up to start the headliner.
The camera pans over the crowd and picks up a few signs – “LoCo
For Lisa!” (there’s a throwback for you), “I’m Here For JoJo!”,
and something about 5G mobile phone signals that gets quickly
blurred out. Down at ringside, McDaniel and Rentfro are in place
and ready to call it.
Jon McDaniel:: We’re getting ready
for the main event here in Las Vegas and what a match-up it
promises to be. The veteran, Lisa Seldon, a former AOWF World
and Tag Team champion, a former PWA Tag Team champion, and a
woman who many consider to be one of the most influential and
successful female competitors in all of professional wrestling.
Taking on the newcomer, Izzie McDee, whose industry pedigree is
second to none – the biological daughter of the current AOWF
World Champion, Marcus “Showtime” Ambrose, and the adopted
daughter of one of the most decorated champions in AOWF history,
Dustin “Thunderwolf” Kelser. A lot of weight and expectations on
this young woman’s shoulders – can she achieve what would surely
be one of the biggest upsets that PWA has ever seen?
Brian Rentfro: It’s going to be one heck of a catfight, Jon!
Jon McDaniel:: Honestly, Brian, why do you even bother?
Brian Rentfro: What? What did I say?
his place in the middle of the ring.
Eric Emerson: Ladies
and gentlemen, live from Las Vegas, Nevada, it’s time for our
main event of the evening!
A hush quiets the arena before
actress and vocalist Taylor Momsen whispers across the PA-system
“Don't bless me father for I have sinned.” The guitar line soon
Eric Emerson: Introducing first…
to Hell” by The Pretty Reckless fires to life over the PA system
as the camera cuts off to the entry way where a single golden
spotlight dances and reverberates to the bass of the song. After
a few moments pass - Izzie McDee, better known as Sarah Kelser
to most, steps out onto the stage in debonair fashion. Izzie’s
ring gear starts out with a pair of Oakley aviators - golden
frame, and gold in tint, a gift from a certain trainer. A
skin-tight, golden tank bearing a black logo of none other than
Thunderwolf, a black lace choker adorning her neck. Black and
white tassels are tied tight around her upper bicep to help
accent her oiled-up muscles. Moving down, she has on a pair of
tight, black leather capri pants – with golden accents and
“McDee” across her bottom. White Chuck Taylor’s finish off the
Eric Emerson: Hailing from Manhattan Beach,
As she hits the top of the ramp she kicks a
leg out to the side and leans, flexing a muscle with a kiss as a
monkey comes spiraling out from the back to join her up on her
shoulder. The children in attendance get a little excited at the
notion, as well as the faithfuls – but everyone else is left
pretty clueless as to who this is, unless of course you were a
fan of the original PWA. The McDee name garners a little bit of
reaction, but not enough to be relevant. She skips casually down
the ramp air slapping hands with a few fans (COVID-19 and all).
JoJo The Wonder Monkey does the same. The spotlight follows them
the whole way to the ring.
Eric Emerson: Standing at
five-feet, nine inches and weighing in at One-Hundred, Sixty
Pounds… IZZIE MCDEE!
As she rolls under the bottom rope
and kips to her feet – she automatically drops into an Electro
Shuffle, which once again, gets all the Fortnite loving kids in
attendance up to their feet. She hits the hot step to perfection
and points to the heavens. She takes a bow and heads to her
corner… then looks out to the crowd, scanning for any familiar
faces. She sees her twin siblings, Hannah and Chance, front and
center. As well as a few other family members. Those piercing
blue-eyes of the devil, however; nowhere in sight.
Emerson: And her opponent…
“Fear of Dying” blasts out
over the speakers; a thunderous flurry that soon draws Lisa out
to the stage. Lisa steps out, drops to her knees and throws both
arms out at her sides, pulling some applause from the crowd.
Eric Emerson: From Glasgow, Scotland and weighing in tonight
at one-hundred and thirty pounds…
Lisa pops back up and
saunters down to the ring, beaming a smile as she takes her time
with it. Never breaking her stride she hops up onto the apron,
leans back to shoot a wink into the nearest camera and then hops
up over the ropes.
Eric Emerson: She is the former
Alliance of Wrestling Federations World Champion… She is – LISA
She lands with her arms out stretched and does a
little spin for good measure. She then takes her corner and hops
up for a seat on the top turnbuckle. Lance Watson checks over
both competitors and instructs them to have a good, clean fight.
McDee warms up with a few capoeira steps and slides, while the
veteran hops down off the turnbuckle and does a few basic
stretches of her own.
the bell, Seldon advances on McDee so quickly that Lance Watson
barely manages to get out of the way. The rookie anticipates a
collar-and-elbow tie-up, but instead catches a brutally stiff
kick to the thigh that has her hobbling back into the ropes.
Seldon follows up with another sharp kick before whipping McDee
across the ring and looking for a shoulder back toss, it’s
telegraphed though and McDee manages to baseball slide between
her legs and pop back up into a run for the opposite ropes. On
the rebound McDee looks for a spear but Seldon leap frogs her
and takes off running herself. Both women hit opposite ropes and
come back at each at full tilt. They collide but the veteran
shows greater resilience and floors McDee with a shoulder block.
Jon McDaniel:: An athletic showing from both women at the
Brian Rentfro: You know, McDee’s actually
pretty hot, not sure where she’s getting those genes from.
Jon McDaniel:: Shut up, Brian.
Seldon drags McDee up
by her hair and hooks her up for a suplex. McDee shows some ring
presence and manages to push free before firing off a chop to
Seldon’s chest that knocks her back a step. Lisa grimaces for a
second which then changes to a grin, she wags her finger at the
rookie who responds with another chop, this one with a bit more
force behind it. Lisa shakes off the pain and appears to gesture
at McDee to give her “one more”. McDee looks a little phased but
obliges, this third even hard than the previous two, making an
audible crack on impact. It clearly stings quite a bit and
Seldon looks like she’s going to walk it off, but then suddenly
fires back with a blistering chop of her own that has McDee
yelping in pain and Lisa laughing.
Jon McDaniel:: A brave
move for McDee to get into a striking contest with Lisa, and
she’s feeling the consequences.
Unlike Lisa, Izzie
doesn’t seem to see the funny side and channels some real anger
into another chop. By now the crowd have gotten the idea and
each strike gets the customary “Whoo!” Seldon fires back again,
getting another yelp from McDee, whose chest has already begun
to flare up red, but also earning another chop in response. The
pace quickens and the two women begin to trade chops back and
forth, faster and faster, until finally McDee goes for broke
with a roaring elbow. She’s a bit too slow on the rotation,
however, and Lisa has time to fire off another kick to the thigh
that drops McDee to one knee.
Jon McDaniel:: The veteran
gets the better of the exchange and now McDee could be in
Seldon hits the ropes and comes back looking for
a sliding dropkick, but McDee still has the presence of mind to
throw herself clear, causing Seldon to slide out under the
bottom rope and down to the floor. McDee pushes back up to her
feet as quickly as she can and scrambles up the turnbuckle
launching off with a crossbody dive to the outside and onto
Seldon who has just made it to her feet, sending both women
tumbling across the arena floor. Eager to capitalise, McDee
pulls herself up using the apron and then forces Lisa up and
into the ring. She slides in and goes for an early cover…
Lisa throws up the shoulder before the two and is
already working her way to her feet, shaking her head.
Brian Rentfro: It’s going to take more than that, baby.
McDee wants to keep the momentum going and grabs a handful of
Lisa’s hair to pull her up to a standing base. She throws a
quick knee to the breadbasket and then hooks and lifts Lisa up,
but the veteran sandbags and comes back down with enough
momentum to plant her feet and reverse, bringing McDee all the
way up to full vertical and then spiking her down for a huge
Jon McDaniel:: Brainbuster!
Lisa hooks the
McDee kicks out.
McDaniel:: McDee is still in this thing!
Seldon is on
full offensive now and forces McDee back up quickly. She whips
her into the turnbuckle before charging in with a jumping knee
strike. McDee staggers out to the middle of the ring and Seldon
moves in from behind to hook her up and take her over with a
release German suplex that dumps McDee on the back of her head.
Seldon goes for another cover…
kicks out again. Seldon takes a minute to plan her next move,
before popping to her feet and climbing out on the apron. McDee
is still on her back in the centre of the ring, looking dazed.
Lisa jumps up onto the ropes and springboards off looking for a
back splash but Izzie rolls clear just in time, leaving the
veteran to crash land on her back.
Jon McDaniel:: Nobody
Seldon has had the wind knocked out her and McDee
sees her opening. She unceremoniously drags Lisa to her feet and
then bends her double with a toe kick. Moving around her, the
rookie throws a leg over and then leaps up to wrap Lisa into an
Jon McDaniel:: She calls this The Kraken!
Seldon is not enjoying this hold, which clearly hurts a
great deal. The referee moves in and starts asking her if she
wants to give up, only to be told to “fuck right off” from
between McDee’s vice-like legs. McDee leans back hard into the
hold, howling for Seldon to quit.
Brian Rentfro: Not the
first time that Lisa has found herself caught between a lady’s
Jon McDaniel:: Shut up, Brian!
to stagger slightly and the referee keeps a close eye. McDee
leans back again and this time Seldon drops down to one knee. A
ripple of excitement passes through the crowd. McDee leans back
a third time and Seldon goes down onto both knees, her
outstretched arms beginning to droop. Smelling blood, Izzie
suddenly twists sideways and takes the hold down onto the
canvas, with Lisa on her back.
Jon McDaniel:: We could be
about to see a dramatic upset here!
touch the canvas and the referee drops down for a count…
Lisa pushes her shoulders up with a howl of
pain. This effort actually seems to revive her a little, and she
begins to stretch out her arm and slide her body across the mat.
McDee sees the problem and presses down, but Seldon is
determined and starts to claw and drag her way towards the
ropes. The crowd get behind the veteran and start clapping their
Jon McDaniel:: The fans rallying behind the
veteran, but can she make it out?
After what seems like
an eternity, Lisa’s fingers touch the bottom rope and the
referee forces the break. McDee doesn’t wait to see how fast her
opponent can recover and instead takes a big handful of hair and
drags Lisa back towards the middle of the ring. Pulling her back
to her feet, Izzie motions to the crowd that “it’s over” before
suddenly snapping Seldon over with a textbook Tiger Suplex. She
bridges for the pin…
McDaniel:: No! She kicked out!
The referee confirms that
the match is still on. McDee slaps the canvas with frustration.
Back on her feet she grabs another handful of Lisa’s hair and
starts to pull her up for more punishment, but the veteran
surprises her with a cradle roll-up…
kicks out almost immediately, but the disorientation is what
Seldon needs as she springs to her feet and runs across the
ring, coming back on the rebound with a dropkick right to the
face of the seated rookie. With her opponent downed, Lisa rolls
clear and out under the bottom rope to recover at ringside.
Jon McDaniel:: Lisa showing the experience advantage, but
you’ve got to wonder how much that submission hold took out of
McDee rolls over onto her stomach and spits some
blood onto the canvas. Meanwhile, Seldon leans against the
guardrail and tries to shake loose the cobwebs. A few fans try
to press closer to touch her, but security keep them suitably
socially distanced. Finally, seeing Izzie start to press back up
to her feet, Lisa climbs back on the apron and waits with her
hands on the top-rope. As McDee reaches a standing base, Lisa
hops up and takes flight with a beautiful corkscrew missile
dropkick that finds it mark and gets a big pop from the crowd.
Brian Rentfro: BOOM! Air freighted right into her face!
No cover attempt, instead Seldon is straight back up and
(wo)manhandling McDee back up as well. Slapping on a Muay-Thai
clinch she starts to throw savage knee strikes into McDee, who
shows some intelligent defence but who is ultimately out-gunned
and starts to go limp in the clinch. A final hard knee bends
McDee up and Lisa follows-up with her signature Fisherman’s
Jon McDaniel:: Evil Dead!
drops down to make the count…
A pop as Izzie somehow manages to kick out. Lisa looks
genuinely surprised, but doesn’t pause too long to reflect.
Pulling McDee to her feet she fires her off into the ropes and
then catches her on the rebound for the sequel – Evil Dead II.
McDee’s head bounces off the canvas and Lisa confidently makes
A huge pop as McDee somehow still
manages to kick out. Lisa climbs to her feet, a little more
slowly than before, and looks down at the rookie with
unmistakable respect. McDee, visibly broken but unwilling to
quit, rolls over onto her stomach and begins to push herself up
with her forearms. Lisa shakes her head and mouths, “this
bitch”, before backing up a couple of steps and sizing Izzie up
for an unmistakable coup de gras.
Jon McDaniel:: She’s
going for the Manopener!
Brian Rentfro: You mean
Jon McDaniel:: Shut up, Brian.
makes it up onto one knee and Seldon sees her moment, letting
loose with a furious roundhouse kick that…
… just misses it’s mark, as McDee tumbles sideways in
a modified capoeira roll that manages to bring the rookie out of
harms’ way and up to her feet on other side of the ring. The
crowd are going nuts. Lisa leaps back up and squares off. McDee
throws her hands up in a defensive posture, looking momentarily
ready to go again, but her eyes start to glaze and she stumbles,
catching the ropes for balance.
Brian Rentfro: She’s out
on her feet.
Jon McDaniel:: But she’s still got fight
left in her, you’ve got to respect that!
Seldon stares at
her for a moment, nodding slightly as though reaching the same
conclusion, and then moves in for the kill again. She charges
McDee who somehow still has the presence of mind to side-step,
but this proves the opening that Lisa anticipates as the veteran
leaps onto the ropes and back at Izzie, landing on her shoulders
and flipping her over with a devastating spike hurricanrana.
Jon McDaniel:: Killa-cana-rama!
She presses down hard
for the pin…
The crowd erupts. Jack Off Jill starts up over the p.a. Both
women lay motionless on the canvas, breathing heavily.
Jon McDaniel:: And as perhaps many expected, Lisa Seldon, the
former AOWF World Champion, picks up the win here tonight but
let’s just take a minute to talk about Izzie McDee – what heart,
what resilience, what raw talent, we’ve seen from this young
woman here tonight. Taking on inarguably one of the best in the
business, in one of her first professional matches, and giving
it her all!
Brian Rentfro: She can take a pounding, I’ll
give her that.
Jon McDaniel:: Real classy… and speaking
of classy, look at this!
Back in the ring, Lisa has made
it to her feet and is, much to everyone’s surprise, helping her
opponent to do the same. Izzie doesn’t seem to know what’s going
on and for a moment tries to push Lisa away, but Lisa persists
and finally both women stand face to face in the middle of the
ring, getting a big cheer from the fans. Lisa gives Izzie a
somewhat patronising but basically well-intentioned pat on the
cheek and then grabs and raises her arm in the air for a huge
Jon McDaniel:: What a show of respect from the AOWF
legend! What a great finish to our show tonight and what a way
to celebrate the return of the Pioneer Wrestling Association!
Brian Rentfro: Only slightly spoiled by the lingering smell
of Jacob Seldon’s piss and vomit…
Jon McDaniel:: Shut.
Bird... it’s a Plane...
desert air is filled with the low hum of gossip amongst the few
lucky fans who have been able to attend tonight’s show, as
security begins motioning for them to start filing out slowly
and safely. <font color=”#00FF40"><b>Brian Rentfro:</b></font>
and What’s His Face McDaniel remove their headsets, all smiles
with a show that went off without a hitch despite the pandemic
looming over everyone these days. Lisa Seldon looks up at the
sky as she is leaving ringside and shakes her head at the sight
she can see in the distance.
Without warning, however,
the low hum of the fans voices is cracked with the thunderous
noise of whirring helicopter blades in the distance. Approaching
at near break neck speed, to the fan who knows, it’s clear a
Black Hawk Helicopter and is now circling overhead. Rentfro and
McDaniel look at each other, mouths agape with confusion as
someone from the ringside staff yells at them to put their
headsets back on.
Brian Rentfro: Apparently we’re still
Jon McDaniel:: What? The helicopter is too loud,
can’t hear you Brian!
Brian Rentfro: What?
Black Hawk hovers 30 feet above the ring, pushing the fans
closest to ringside back from the power of her blades. Hats fly
off their heads, cups fly out of their hands as everyone
scrambles to take cover and hold onto their belongings. Security
begins rushing towards ringside, but the Black Hawk helicopter
immediately takes to similar crowd control maneuvers The
President unleashed on protestors in Washington D.C. several
weeks ago, knocking back those who come too close. Even our
intrepid commentators at ringside are thrown to the ground in
Jon McDaniel:: Wait a minute, you don’t think
this is –
His headseat flies off his head as the Black
Hawk finally settles again over the ring. As if on cue, “City of
the Fallen” by Ashes begins to play over the speaker system. The
crescendo begins to build with drums, and finally everyone at
ringside is able to get their bearings as a flag unfurls from
beneath the Black Hawk as the short piece of music hits its
climax. The fans immediately erupt in a cacophony of screams,
cheers and boos.